A book that feels like a waking dream can leave you blinking at the page, unsure whether you just read a scene or hallucinated it. In a thread on r/suggestmeabook, one redditor asked for book recommendations that provide that exact feeling. They want stories where the narrative skips on the edges of reality, throwing characters into lush jungles and bizarre pink dimensions without warning. In the comments, fellow readers share the novels that left them completely disoriented in the best way possible.

[Warning! Spoilers ahead.]

1. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami

Haruki Murakami dominates conversations about fiction that bends the natural world. His signature magical realism seamlessly blends mundane everyday routines with the absolutely bizarre.

Comment in r/suggestmeabook

Magic realism is a great genre.

My fave: The Wind Up Bird Chronicle - Murakami

Comment in r/suggestmeabook

I came here to say "any Murakami" but agree that's probably the best one.

2. The Unconsoled by Kazuo Ishiguro

Kazuo Ishiguro’s The Unconsoled is a masterclass in sustained, dreamlike disorientation. Time stretches and snaps, spaces rearrange themselves, and the story moves with the slippery logic of a dream — where you’re always late, always needed, and never quite sure how you got from one place to the next.

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The Unconsoled is the actual dream logic read: people have different faces but are the same, places that are so far apart are suddenly next to one another, an imminent sense of crisis keeps getting delayed, etc.

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The Unconsoled really baked my noodle! It took me weeks to get through but I think I ended up loving it?! It’s been 12 years and I’m still not sure.

3. Mason & Dixon by Thomas Pynchon

Certain authors are infamous for their dense, sprawling narratives that proudly abandon the standard constraints of physics, history, and basic logic.

Comment in r/suggestmeabook

Maybe...

Mason & Dixon by Thomas Pynchon

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov

Pretty much anything by Kafka

4. Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino

Some experimental fiction requires audiences to completely let go of traditional plot structures before the narrative begins to reveal its true shape.

Comment in r/suggestmeabook

Invisible Cities is great. It's like a symbolist puzzle - it uses the framing idea of another version of Marco Polo's travels but the book itself is designed so that the reader can read it in many different ways. I think there's like 11 different thematic "groupings" of the cities for you to read which link the cities together in different ways, kind of like different voyages to meet the Khan.

Comment in r/suggestmeabook

Seconding Invisible Cities (I can’t speak to If On A Winter’s Night A Traveler because I still need to read it). A friend suggested Invisible Cities for a book club and I was like “what am I even reading?!?!” until it clicked, sort of, in a good way.

OP, I think you’ll like it. :)

5. The Third Policeman by Flann O'Brien

Blending seemingly normal surroundings with high-concept absurdity creates an unsettling atmosphere that effortlessly transports the reader away from waking reality.

Comment in r/suggestmeabook

The Third Policeman by Flann O'brien fits your description! It definitely is not the weirdest I have read, but definitely the most dreamlike. Please note some version have a forward at the start before the actual book starts, and if you see one do NOT read it as it spoils the entire book.

6. No One Is Talking About This by Patricia Lockwood

Modern literature occasionally channels the chaotic energy of digital life to produce a reading experience that completely washes over the brain.

Comment in r/suggestmeabook

No One is Talking About This by Patricia Lockwood makes zero sense, but not in a vaporwave way. I'd still recommend it. I read it a couple of years ago and remember what it felt like to read it, but nothing that it actually said.

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No One is Talking About this by Patricia Lockwood. It's written in a really weird way, with very very short scenes that feel dreamlike or nightmarish or just confusing. It doesn't make any sense to me.

7. Piranesi by Susanna Clarke

If you want a book that feels like you wandered into someone else’s lucid dream and forgot the way out, Susanna Clarke’s Piranesi is a perfect fit. The narrator’s calm, diary-like voice makes the unreality feel oddly intimate, and the story’s slow revelations turn the setting into something both enchanting and deeply unsettling.

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This one was absolutely spellbinding, I couldn’t put it down. First time I read in 20 pages but social obligations made me put it down. The next day I finished it.

Just really…something. Susanna Clarke is so damn talented with her words. The title character was also so intriguing, so creative, so inquisitive, so interesting. I formed such a love for him.

Comment in r/suggestmeabook

Seconding Piranesi, the writing was beautiful and surreal and I didn’t really understand what was happening for most of it

Diving into a novel that completely ignores the established rules of reality is a fantastic way to break out of a reading slump. These surreal recommendations prove that sometimes the best stories are the ones that leave you entirely confused, yet eagerly asking for more. What do you think about these unconventional narratives, and which strange universe would you prefer to visit first?

Want more bookish discussions? Read the full recommendations in r/suggestmeabook, and find more conversations like this in r/booksuggestions, r/books, and r/Fantasy.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

Kids are notorious for deciding they can't — or won't — eat certain foods, and their minds can be difficult to change. In a thread on r/Cooking, redditors weighed in on which foods they detested as children, only to discover years later that the actual dish or ingredient was never the problem; it was the preparation.

1. Zucchini and squash

Boiled, covered, and cooked into mush was the standard preparation for many households, but a little dry heat changes everything.

Comment in r/Cooking

Zucchini and other similar squash. My family always cooked em down to a slop in a covered saucepan. I was in my twenties before I knew how delicious they could be, especially when cooked on a charcoal grill.

Comment in r/Cooking

I didn't like zucchini or squash save for zucchini bread for the longest time until I had calabcitas con queso y elote (squash with cheese and corn). So delicious, now it's my favorite summer meal.

2. Pork chops

The fear of undercooked pork led many households to bake their chops into dry, gray bricks. Searing them in a pan to a perfect blush restores their natural juiciness.

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Pork chops. My parents only ever baked them until they were well done, so they were always dry and Grey.

My husband pan fried some pork chops for me with just a hint of blush in the center when we were dating. So juicy, so flavorful, not grey. It was great.

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We could bounce Mum’s pork chops off the wall

3. Canned green beans

Before fresh produce became widely available year-round, canned vegetables reigned supreme. Tasting them fresh from the garden or frozen is a completely different experience.

Comment in r/Cooking

I came here to say green beans! I thought I hated them but it turns out what I hate is canned green beans

Comment in r/Cooking

My God, same. Then when I was at uni, an older friend let me eat green beans raw in her garden one day, and I nearly went to heaven.

4. Beef

Overcooking steak into a hockey puck out of food safety fears was a common childhood trauma. Escaping the well-done trap revealed just how tender a good cut can be.

Comment in r/Cooking

I think my mom was always afraid of food poisoning or something.. she'd cook steaks so long. I'd chew and chew and chew, but it'd never break down enough to swallow. I'd put that bite in my napkin and start again in the next bite. I was an adult before I learned one wouldn't die from eating steaks less than well done. Never looked back, and I've managed to change her opinion.. a bit.

Comment in r/Cooking

Beef.

Turns out it's quite juicy when you don't pan fry it until it's jerky.

5. Mashed potatoes

Boxed flakes and poor technique can quickly turn a classic side dish into something closely resembling construction material.

Comment in r/Cooking

Mashed potatoes. Turns out if you make 'em right, they barely resemble library paste at all.

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Or if you make them into super library paste, then they turn into fancy French library paste called pommes aligot lol

6. Fish and seafood

Unceremoniously preparing frozen fillets pales in comparison to grilling fresh-caught seafood with butter, lemon, and simple seasoning.

Comment in r/Cooking

Fish…. Grew up parents cooking frozen stuff. As an adult made friends with fishermen and finally ate fresh caught seafood. Most restaurants don’t get it this fresh so therefore I have become a snob and don’t eat seafood out very often. Preparation: grilled with salt pepper lemon and sometimes some garlic butter. Always tasty especially flounder.

Comment in r/Cooking

Seafood. I grew up inland, with a father who loathed seafood and a mother who seemed to have burned her tastebuds off with all the smoking. I spent years convinced that the fried, frozen garbage I had access to was the best seafood could get. Top quality sushi was a revelation, and even today I only eat fish or shrimp in nice restaurants.

7. Spinach

Whether canned into slime or served as a gritty salad, spinach suffers when mishandled. A quick sauté to just beyond wilted is all it really needs.

Comment in r/Cooking

All the time growing up. My mom was a big fan of pre-cooked packaged dead and buried spinach in all its forms: frozen and canned. I thought I hated spinach until I went to college and had a salad with these strange leaves I'd never seen before in it. Turns out I do like spinach, but only if it hasn't been cooked to death.

Comment in r/Cooking

FWIW; the frozen spinach is great for making stuff like saag.

And you add it at the end so it's just warmed up. Not cooked to oblivion.

8. Lasagna

Not all family recipes are passed down for their exceptional flavor profiles, especially when cottage cheese and condensed soup make an appearance.

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Lasagna. My mom makes it with tomato soup, canned mushrooms, and cottage cheese.

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Lasagna I hate it usually and then I made it with my great grandmas cookbook and it was divine 

9. Cabbage

Forget the bland, boiled wedges of the past. Roasting it with oil or mixing it into traditional comfort foods unlocks its natural savory crunch.

Comment in r/Cooking

Pan sautéed cabbage. I slice mine into shreds with the food processor and fry it up in some bacon grease.

Throw in some onions and a dash of ACV if you’re feeling fancy.

My parents always steamed it growing up and it was meh.

Comment in r/Cooking

And you can prepare it like seven million ways. It's great in so many cuisines. Ever since I started shredding it with a potato peeler I've been an even bigger fan.

10. Onions

The sharp, pungent bite of a raw onion is enough to put anyone off, but cooking them until translucent draws out a rich, mellow sweetness.

Comment in r/Cooking

And, onions. Turns out i just don’t like them raw! Now i never cook without them, i love the sweetness of carmelized onions especially!

Comment in r/Cooking

Onions!

Used to hate them. Then I worked at a Cuban restaurant for a while. One of the coworkers I had there liked to toss an onion in the deep fryer for a few minutes and then squeeze lime juice over it. That changed my life forever.

Overcooking and an over-reliance on canned ingredients seem to be the primary culprits behind most childhood food aversions. Whether it was from a misplaced fear of food-borne illness or a lack of culinary exposure, experiencing these ingredients properly prepared has turned lifelong haters into devoted fans. What food did you write off too early?

Want more food discussions like this? Read the full thread in r/Cooking, and find similar conversations in r/AskCulinary, r/food, and r/CookingForBeginners.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

Taking on a home renovation project can be a great way to save money and learn new skills. But things rarely go exactly as planned. When one ambitious homeowner realized a measuring mistake meant tearing down a month's worth of fresh window trim, they posted in r/HomeImprovement for some much-needed solidarity:

Been re-doing window trim slowly since we moved in. Farm-house style, simple ripping down 1x4s, no big deal. However I took a break between downstairs and upstairs (about a month), and forgot the dimensions of the window sills. Left them a 1x4 upstairs but the rest of the house's window sills are all ripped down to 1x3s. So NOW I have the pleasure of ripping several boards off the upstairs windows I just finished in order to put boards up with the right dimensions. Would love some encouragement of stories where the DIY project didn't go as planned, just no I know I'm not alone on this. Maybe some will be entertaining :)

In the comments, redditors deliver plenty of chaotic confessions about their own renovation disasters.

The high cost of cutting blind

Sometimes the biggest mistakes happen entirely behind the walls or under the floorboards. When homeowners start slicing into materials without knowing exactly what is beneath the surface, the results are often disastrous and incredibly expensive.

Comment in r/HomeImprovement

Renovating our master bathroom. I pulled up the tile floor - that turned out to be peel and stick over tile 1/8" shims stacked 3 high to even out what I later found out was a mis-measured attempt to tie-in a wood subfloor to the concrete riser the made up a 2' wide section of the bathroom floor.

So, in rather short order, I found some rotten wood and needed to replace it. It was about 2 linear feet of the plywood sub-floor and the wall-framing for the shower. Pretty easy. So I started cutting out the rotten sections with my Sawzall.

The frame was first and it came out like a champ. Then I started working on the plywood section. Again, everything was going great, until I was almost done with the last cut.

PSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I think I've cut a water line and I yell for my wife to shut off the water. But something's not right.

Eventually, I figure out that I've cut through the AC freon line and just vented 13 gallons of R22 into my bathroom. They ran the ac hose under the wooden subfloor. I had no idea it was there.

Replacement cost - $1,500.

But wait, there's more. Everyone I call points out that my AC unit is 12 years old and I'm almost to the point of major repair on the unit anyway. I should consider a new one. I, of course, balk at this.

After a few weeks, we eventually work out that a new system is actually a good idea.

New Replacement cost - $4,600.

Bathroom looks amazing. Utility bill is running about 20% lower now due to the more efficient AC unit.

Comment in r/HomeImprovement

I accidentally cut my internet line when I was removing old, dead wire in our basement. It was the night before Thanksgiving which meant I went several days with no internet as I didn't want to pay the holiday fee.

From the way my kids acted, you would have through I cut off their legs.

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A few years ago I was adding some speakers to the surround sound system off the TV in my living room. The basement below the living room provided easy access to add the necessary wiring. I already had a conduit from the tv area to the basement so all I had to do was simply add a low voltage box across the room for the speakers. I cut the hole in the wall then used the four foot flexible drill bit to drill down to the basement. I then attached the speaker wires pulled from the tv area to the convenient hole in the bit and pulled them up into the box. I connected the wires to plugs on the faceplate and attached the speaker wires. Everything worked great.

Several months later I happened to be rooting around the floor of my closet on the other side of the wall in the living room where I had drilled the hole. I happened to notice I had a pair of hiking boots tucked up under some low hanging shirts. Being pleasantly surprised I went to pull them out to use them shortly and discovered that one would not move. It turns out the the flexible bit came out of the wall in my closet, went through the toe of my boot and on through the floor into the basement. When I pulled the wire back up from the basement it pulled through my boot, back into the wall, and into the work box. As I looked at that wire running through my boot all I could do was laugh.

Comment in r/HomeImprovement

Sawzalling subfloor in second floor walk-in closet. Hit water line.

I finish the cut and pry the board up while yelling for the other guy working with me. Realize I cut straight through the line. Eventually other guy hears me and runs to turn off water. He can’t figure out how to turn it off.

I run downstairs and realize the main needed a wrench to shut off. Run to truck, grab wrench, shut off.

The cut line ran for a good 5-7 minutes into the floor/ceiling joists. I got a ladder, framing hammer and 5 gallon buckets. Then knocked about 6 holes and placed buckets below to catch water.

Winging it usually backfires

A little bit of confidence is required to tackle a big project, but completely ignoring the manual is a recipe for disaster.

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This one I’m embarrassed about - the wife has fun reminding me of this even 10+ years later (my resistance to read instructions).

It was our first house and we ordered laminate flooring for the living room/hallways. Spent about 2k, and finally the order came in. We picked it up, brought it home, starting ripping out the old, shaggy, brown, pee-stained carpet from the prior owner.

When the afternoon came, we were ready. Started bringing in the boxes. I started ripping them open and laying the pieces down, tapping them together. I laid them side by side, end-to-end (not staggered, as the instructions said). As we got further into it (I’d say about 600 sq ft laid), it was getting harder. The pieces weren’t flush and I started having to use a hammer to bash in the edges to fit right.

It was getting late, I was getting frustrated. Why is it this hard? Opened a few beers, called it a night.

Next morning awoke refreshed. Resolved to finish. Needed a bigger hammer, I thought. Went to Home Depot.

The weirdest thing that day ... I got out of my car once I arrived and I overheard on the parking lot exterior speakers: “attention all Home Depot shoppers - come join our workshop this morning on laying laminate floors!” I stopped and said - what the hell? May as well.

Holy Crap - halfway into the class I jumped off my chair and ran out to the car while calling my wife to STOP!

We lost about 1/3 of the flooring due to my idiocy and impatience to get it done that first day. But I still resist reading instructions to this day.

Comment in r/HomeImprovement

I was set to install a sliding, frameless shower door in a master bathroom that we had just remodeled. I had already read the instructions and gathered all the parts needed for the install. The door and frame weigh 185 lbs, so there are three of us working at installing this door.

We start drilling and screwed the one piece of frame into the side of the tile wall (I know the doors are advertised as frameless, but there is one small U-channel). You then need to slide the giant 3/4” thick sheet of glass into the U-channel with silicone. I only had white silicone, thought this would be no problem as it would be hidden in the channel.

Well, turns out I globbed on way too much. When we slid the door in, it smushes out everywhere. I start panicking and trying to wipe it up, but we had taken so long to get ready to shove the door in after siliconing that it was drying up. On top of that, there were a lot of white parts I could see regardless of wiping.

What should of been the halfway mark of the job turned into an addition 2 hours. We pulled the door out, cleaned the silicone out with alcohol. Then, I had to go to the hardware store to pickup the clear stuff which I should of done in the first place. However, it’s Sunday and the closest hardware store is 25mins away.

We worked on installing this door for over 6 hrs and didn’t finish it all that night. It’s up and done now, but such a simple mistake cost me so much time!

Comment in r/HomeImprovement

Ohhhh

So we bought this house. Paint was peeling on a wall. Inquired about it during inspection, worried it was water damage. Assured it was not, got some story about the paint not setting. Ok whatever.

I hate the color in this room so decide this is my first project. I figure I'll peel back the bit of paint, lightly sand, paint. Hahahaha

I peel. I keep peeling. Won't stop peeling. Now the wall looks uneven. So I try to lightly patch. Patch won't stick. Keep trying. Keep failing. Hmmmm... Well one of the walls in the room has a subtle but nice texture to it. Ok, I'll just texture the walls so everything looks even.

HINT: DO NOT TEXTURE THE WALLS.

I get some bag of sand thing. Dump in paint. Read nothing. Start painting with this abomination. Hmm looks ok. I keep going about my business. I finish. I stand back. THIS DOES NOT LOOK OK. also where the paint was peeling? The new paint is peeling.

Have some handymen people look at it to see how much it would be to fix. $1200. Nope.

My dad comes up. We sand down the entire room. It is a mess. We prime. We attempt to patch problem wall again. Does not work. We paint anyway.

That wall still looks terrible, so eventually we put up an accent wall ship-lap style. It actually looks good and intentional.

Several guesses as to why the wall doesn't hold paint well - definitely not a leakage issue though.

Moral of the story is don't texture your walls unless you know what you're doing. Reading the directions will probably help you know what you are doing .

A mistake that reveals itself later

Often, the error you've made is not immediately obvious. Redditors discuss the times they took a victory lap after completing the job, only for the real damage to become apparent minutes, days, or weeks afterwards.

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I drywalled the basement and left for a cruise. All the sanding dust clogged the furnace air filter. The furnace shut itself off. The pipes froze and burst when we heated the house back up 2 weeks later. Even the toilet tanks were frozen. And the olive oil.

Comment in r/HomeImprovement

This summer, my bro gave my folks a huge new TV. The handymen he hired to mount this monstrosity on the wall (despite me offering to put it up because I enjoy doing that stuff) couldn't find ANY studs, made a huge mess and spent four hours screwing it up beyond belief. After kicking them out, we realized some tools were missing and hardware from two different mount kits had been torn open and mixed up. The drywall had lots of large holes, and a closer look revealed it was bulged and broken. We even found concrete anchors that had been used, then wrenched back out and stashed in the entertainment unit.

I was so appalled that I couldn't rest until it was all undone. I repaired the wall & got new bags of hardware, and eventually we got the TV mounted correctly in less than an hour. Everything was back to normal and my parents could enjoy burning their retinas from every possible angle.

Tonight I went to add on the soundbar underneath, which required loosening part of the bracket to attach the soundbar mounting arms.
Sixty-five inches of brand-new Samsung UHD 4K LED came crashing to the floor because I paid more attention to the size of driver bit than to WHICH SCREWS TO LOOSEN.

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Kids wanted a sprinkler setup for the summer because we cant afford nor have enough yard for a pool. Problem was, we didn't have a spicket. Decided I'd be the summertime hero and install one (i also wanted a garden so I kinda just needed a reason to motivate me other than the occasional watering of a plant). It was a hot day and I arrived with the supplies to make it happen and the kids we super excited so I pick a spot and tie into the nearest water line, the kid's were rushing me, so i go as quick as i can. Success! I hook the hose up and break out the badass sprinkler that I suprised them with. Go to get me a drink, hear some what i believe to be happy kid screams, and walk back out to some very unhappy faces. I HAD TIED INTO THE HOT WATER LINE.

Fixing up a house requires more than just a set of tools and a positive attitude. While hiring professional contractors comes with a hefty price tag, these stories prove that a botched DIY job can end up costing you significantly more time, money, and sanity.

Want more home improvement stories like this? Read all the comments in r/HomeImprovement, and find more conversations like this in r/DIY, r/homeimprovementideas, and r/DIYHome

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

When people brag about being "so productive" because they get up before 5 a.m., is this true or are they simply performing discipline? In a thread on r/productivity, redditors are debating this modern mystery. The conversation kicked off when one person noticed that their early-bird colleague was visibly fading by 2 p.m. every day at work. Here's the post that started it all:

I'll be honest this started because a coworker of mine has been on a 5am wake up kick for the past two months and will not stop talking about it. Cold shower, journaling, 90 minute deep work block before the sun comes up the whole thing. And credit where it's due he seems energized by it.

But here's what I noticed. By 2pm he's visibly cooked. Conversation slows down he's reaching for his third coffee and anything requiring real creative thinking basically stops happening. Meanwhile I wake up at 8, feel like a human being by 9 and hit my actual peak focus somewhere between 10am and 1am at night.

So who's actually more productive here?

Because the 5am crowd will tell you the morning hours are objectively higher quality: no notifications, no interruptions the world hasn't started yet. And there's something to that.

But I can't shake the feeling that a lot of it is aesthetic. Like waking up early feels like discipline so it gets treated as productivity even when the output doesn't back it up.

Is there actual science behind early rising being cognitively superior or did one Andrew Huberman podcast just convince half the internet that night owls are secretly lazy?

The observation struck a nerve, prompting night owls, natural early birds, and tired employees alike to weigh in on whether winning the morning actually translates to winning the day.

The inevitable afternoon crash

Many people point out that pushing your body out of its natural sleeping rhythm does not create more energy, it just shifts the window of time when you'll feel exhausted during the day.

Comment in r/productivity

Deadass most people are cooked by 2pm. Humans arent productive after four hours of work lol. He just likes waking up early. People do what they like

Comment in r/productivity

The 2pm crash is the actual data point. He's forcing a wake time earlier than his natural chronotype, which means he's accumulating sleep debt and front-loading cognitive function he then doesn't have later. The morning feeling of premium focus is real, but the reason is no interruptions, not some inherent superiority of 6am brain activity. Your 10am window is just when your biology actually peaks. Chronotypes are largely genetic and fairly resistant to lifestyle change. Fighting yours long-term doesn't build discipline, it just shifts when you're operating below capacity.

Comment in r/productivity

It depends on how much sleep you’re getting. If you’re getting up at 5 you better be in bed by 9-10. Otherwise you’re just hitting a wall later in the day and losing back the production you gained early.

Escaping the noise

For some, the appeal of waking up before the sun has nothing to do with bragging rights or feeling superior. Instead, it's all about finding a quiet window where notifications, emails, and daily obligations cannot interrupt their deep focus.

Comment in r/productivity

I've molded myself into a 5am person (most of the time). But I don't think there's any magic to it other than most of the world being asleep, so you can focus without interruptions. If you can create that period of uninterrupted focus at some other time, I think you'd get the same benefit. And -- though it's completely unfair -- the world is more impressed with early risers, so you might get some additional cred that way.

Comment in r/productivity

It's different to everyone. I work better at night, and enjoy staying up late. There was a time when I'd get up at 5:30 for work at 9, just to have time to read, slowly eat breakfast and drink a coffee, and not rush. In both scenarios, I craved silence and solitude. If you find that at 5am, great. If you find it at 11pm, that's good too. I wish we would get over the narrative that waking up early = productive.

Comment in r/productivity

I have kids. 5am is the only spot I have.

Hoarding the best hours

A recurring theme among early risers is a desire to spend their peak energy on personal goals rather than corporate demands. Many happily accept an afternoon slump because they have already spent their best hours investing in themselves.

Comment in r/productivity

When I was waking up at 5 every day, I was using the first part of the morning to exercise and work on my side projects. I definitely wasn’t any more productive in my day job.

Comment in r/productivity

That's why I like getting early. I'm freshest on the morning, so I can use my freshest self on my own projects. I don't care if my job gets the mediocre version of me.

Comment in r/productivity

It depends on your priorities but I definitely am more productive when I stick to waking earlier. I also feel my mood is better than when I wake up and immediately lock into my job. Devoting my early morning energy to things I care about like exercise sets me up to feel better about my day.

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This is how I am, I am winding down at 8:30pm reading, relaxing and then asleep by 9pm. I get up around 4:15am go to my 5am group HIIT class, home by 6:10am. I don't have to be logged in until 8:30 am so I have time to make breakfast, make sure my son is ready for school and fed. I typically read on my Kindle for 30 minutes. I come home with the endorphin rush from my workout and my reading time is to calm down and log into work completely relaxed.

The problem is trying to get up earlier than normal but go to bed the usual late time because you are doing the stuff you wish you had more time for.

Fighting your own biology

Some people are simply wired to wake up early. Redditors emphasize that trying to force a routine that goes against your biology is a recipe for frustration rather than success.

Comment in r/productivity

To each their own I guess. Do it however you like it.

One thing I don't like about this post is you assuming waking up at 5am is suffering. Some people are just natural early-risers. It may or may not lead to a productive day but some people are just built that way.

I myself was a 5 am person until I started working and shifts extended late in the evening along with the bustle of a big city where going to bed early is just not practical. I assure you it was blissful to be up and out that early and if my life were to slow down, I would go back to it in an instant.

Comment in r/productivity

Some people are at their most productive in the early morning. If you get a second wind at 8pm this is basically torture, though.

Comment in r/productivity

Ive tried to be a morning person my whole life but it has NEVER worked. It doesn’t help that in my workplace, there’s a bunch of tea/coffee hours that are at around 3pm and there’s also a culture of working until very late in the day. Personally I would love to be a morning person though, but even after setting a million alarms, unless I have some appointment, I would just end up snoozing them lol. My brain is just not wired to wake up early.

There is no universal cheat code for unlocking maximum productivity. Success comes down to understanding your own natural rhythm and protecting your time from distractions.

What time of day do you feel your sharpest? Read the full discussion in r/productivity, and find more conversations like this in r/DecidingToBeBetter, r/Habits, and r/selfimprovement.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

Welcoming a new baby into the family is a whirlwind of joy, exhaustion, and constant diaper changes. Naturally, many grandparents want to dive right in and help with their brand-new grandbaby. But figuring out how to offer support without overstepping can be tricky.

One soon-to-be grandmother turned to r/NewParents to find out the best ways she can show up for her son and daughter-in-law. This is what her post said:

My son and his wife are expecting their first child in a few months. What are some of the best ways I can help out? [...] They have asked me to come stay with them for a few days when they first come home. I'll also come visit frequently after that, on their schedule of course. (I live about an hour away).

I'll be happy to cook and clean, do laundry, etc so they can concentrate on the baby and adjust to their new little family life. Any other suggestions about what is most helpful? I don't want to overstep, but I want to do whatever I can to help make things easier on them.

In the comments, redditors offer suggestions for postpartum etiquette, along with heartfelt advice and boundary-setting strategies.

Make the new mom feel seen

It's easy for a new mother to fade into the background while visitors swarm the newborn. Commenters urge the grandmother to ensure her daughter-in-law feels prioritized, praised, and cared for during those vulnerable first weeks.

Comment in r/NewParents

Don’t forget about your DIL after the baby is here. Be there for her emotionally and physically, ask her how she’s doing and how she’s doing, and what she needs. What hurt me the most was when I felt invisible and forgotten about and everything was about the baby. It sounds like you’re light years ahead and are going to be a great grandma and MIL!

Comment in r/NewParents

Ask if she’d like photos of her with the baby. So many mothers (me included) take the photos and then we’re never in them. Really appreciate having photos and videos of me and my baby 

Also explicitly saying shes going a good job. Men get lots of praise and mothers often treated like they’re doing what they should be doing. Getting feedback - especially when hormonal- really helped me feel better about myself 

Comment in r/NewParents

Yes! And try to tell her she’s doing great/compliment her as much as you can (as long as it’s genuine). Both my mom and mother in law tend to note the things I’m doing wrong by rather than giving me compliments. Meanwhile they often say how great of a dad my husband is. I just want some damn credit once in awhile.

Chores over cuddles

Many well-meaning family members visit just to hold the baby, leaving the exhausted parents to play host. Redditors emphasize that actual support looks like tackling housework, prepping meals, and quietly keeping the household running so the parents can rest.

Comment in r/NewParents

Help stock their freezer with easy meals/snacks for when you aren’t there!

Comment in r/NewParents

Washing dishes and bottles and laundry will be so so appreciated. Bring mama cold water periodically, especially if she's breastfeeding/pumping. A lot of people recommend bringing reheatable food for the freezer... Ofc that will definitely be appreciated, but I find easy freeze and heat meals are often heavy meals.. I would have cried of appreciation if people had brought me fresh fruit and cold veggies.

Comment in r/NewParents

As a person who recently had her lovely in laws over when my own parents couldn’t, here’s what I wish I had told them.

Don’t wait to be asked to prep meals. Take the lead of cooking without too many questions.

Each mom is there for their own baby. You are there for your son, as a helping hand during this transformational time. Your daughter in law is meeting her baby for the first time. Let her have this, even if it means your rarely see the newborn.

Give her her privacy, for nursing, pumping, healing. No one wants to whip their boob out infront of their MIL, nor be seen in diapers.

Finally, offer your son gentleness and emotional regulation through this huge life change. If he needs to be shown how to be a good supportive husband, gently show him. If he needs emotional support through this, offer it to him.

You sound great, I’m sure you’d be the best to them all.

Respect the family bubble

Knowing when to step back as a grandparent and keeping unsolicited opinions to a minimum can make a world of difference for anxious first-time parents.

Comment in r/NewParents

Your mindset sounds great already. I’m sure they’re lucky to have you.

I think it’s nice if there’s a space that you don’t enter unless invited, let me explain. In our house, my mom waits to be invited to the top floor (she has whole reign over basement and main level though). She did this so that we could feel like we still had a bubble with the three of us if we wanted it. We invited her up all the time, but it was nice to have a little space just for us. Not sure if that works in your context.

Comment in r/NewParents

Seconding this. I just had my baby 3 weeks ago and my MIL has been helping a lot, which is wonderful. But I received zero privacy when it comes to nursing and I didn’t have the gumption to tell her to please go to another room while I got situated.

Comment in r/NewParents

Also don’t question the mom if the way she’s doing stuff isn’t the same as you did. Regulations have changed or there’s more info available now e.g. safe sleep, clothing/layers, that kind of thing

Comment in r/NewParents

Give them space if they need. Its so overstimulating those first days

Navigating the shift from parent to grandparent is a delicate balancing act, but starting with empathy is half the battle. By focusing on the parents' comfort and taking the initiative on household chores, any grandparent can become a lifeline during those early days.

What do you think makes a great grandparent? Read the full discussion in r/NewParents, and uncover more family advice in r/daddit, r/Mommit, and r/Parenting.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

We’ve all had moments where we realize how much we’re getting ripped off on everyday stuff. In a lively thread in r/Frugal, people are sharing the simple maintenance, cooking, and grooming tasks they finally decided to just do themselves in order to save some cash on a regular basis. Once they realized how easy it was, there was no going back to paying full price.

1. Basic appliance repair

Fixing a broken household device often feels intimidating, but access to online tutorials makes swapping out simple components easy to learn for beginners.

Comment in r/Frugal

Almost any appliance repair.

Lately, I've been telling my kid, "If it has a control board, it has a diagnostic" in a bad Austrian accent. 😂 YouTube has, like, a zillion videos on stuff like control board diagnostic codes.

It's easier to just diagnose and fix the bad component without shelling out hundreds for someone to tell me they can overcharge me in three weeks when they have an opening. I can order parts and get things fixed quickly and less expensively.

And I don't consider myself "handy" generally. If I can do it, you probably can too.

Comment in r/Frugal

Replacing the capacitor in our A/C unit. $20 part online and easy to replace, hundreds of YT videos explaining how to do it. HVAC company wanted $400 to do the same job. CRAZY.

2. Fresh herbs

Buying small plastic packages of basil or green onions for one-off recipes adds up quickly over time. Keeping a few plants alive and propagating fresh cuttings at home are popular tricks that offer a regular supply of fresh herbs for zero extra dollars.

Comment in r/Frugal

regrowing some herbs, I got the fresh basil from the supermarket once and its been growing ever since and has yielded 5x the original amount already. Only difficult part is bringing it through the winter (if you grow it indoors thats less of an issue but I like to use my balcony for it), last year I failed will try again this year

Comment in r/Frugal

Growing our own herbs, green onions and peppers has saved us so much money.

3. Routine haircuts and trims

With salon prices going through the roof, a lot of people are grabbing the scissors and doing it themselves. After watching a couple of tutorials, it's easy to handle a basic trim or buzz cut right in your own bathroom.

Comment in r/Frugal

I've been cutting my hair for 10 years and I'll never go back. It's insane that the average price for a trim is like $50. And the last two times that I actually tried to see a hairdresser they botched my hair. I only trust myself. 🤣

Comment in r/Frugal

I'm a woman with long hair still in my 30s and I cut my own hair. Would cost me 80 euros to get it done professionally and that's just for a shampoo, cut and blow dry...

4. Regular oil changes

Changing car fluids at home using a few simple tools means buying materials at base cost, skipping the waiting room, and finishing the job on your own schedule.

Comment in r/Frugal

Full synthetic oil changes. 20 minutes saves me $100

Comment in r/Frugal

And the time spent in your driveway is less than the travel and waiting time at the shop. So you can save money and time. That being said, it usually takes me more than 20 minutes, especially on vehicles with difficult-to-reach filters, like my F150.

5. Various cleaning solutions and sprays

Many savvy shoppers realize they can just mix together some standard kitchen ingredients to create cleaning solutions for pennies.

Comment in r/Frugal

This is dumb but Dawn power wash spray. It's just a tiny bit of Dawn liquid some rubbing alcohol, and water. Every time I refill the sprayer I think "I just saved myself 5 bucks!

Comment in r/Frugal

This! Hard floor cleaner I mix 4 parts water and 1 part vinegar and a few drops of dawn, window/mirror/all-purpose cleaner I mix water, vinegar, and isopropyl alcohol 1:1:2 ratio. So much cheaper and the mixes work so much better!

Comment in r/Frugal

Eyeglass cleaner and window cleaner. Basically the same recipe for both. 90% alcohol, 10% water, a couple drops of Dawn dish soap.

The window cleaner works so much better than Windex. I've also used straight white vinegar with equally as good results.

6. Delicious fruit jams

High-quality preserves fetch steep prices at local delis and farmers markets. Boiling down excess or foraged fruits is an easy stovetop project that captures seasonal flavor all year round.

Comment in r/Frugal

Jam. It's ungodly expensive in the grocery store, and SO easy to make at home.

Comment in r/Frugal

Yes! I agree. I make it when I have foraged fruit, or sometimes leftovers - made some really nice jam with watermelon rind the other day. One watermelon (just the rind) made about 4 jars... It was an ingredient I would have binned in the past.

With foraged fruit it's even nicer because a lot of the time, they are "rare" jams you'd only find in a deli at a premium price, like rosehip jam or elderflower jam.

7. Microwave popcorn

Pre-packaged microwave snacks often carry strange artificial flavors and packaging waste. Popping kernels over high heat or using a simple silicone bowl provides a fresh treat that is easily customized.

Comment in r/Frugal

Silly thing but what immediately came to mind was popcorn.

Making your own popcorn either on the stove or with an air popper is so much better and cheaper than microwave popcorn.

Comment in r/Frugal

I have a silicone popcorn maker for the microwave. That thing has saved me so much money. A huge bowl of popcorn costs me about 20 cents and I can season it the way I like it.

8. Store-bought cookies

Learning a simple cookie recipe means saving money on store-bought cookies that don't taste nearly as good as the home-baked variety anyway.

Comment in r/Frugal

Not a huge savings, but for me it's cookies. I used to rotate between a $5 box of oreos or chips ahoy or E.L. fudge every week. Now I just ignore that aisle, and I force myself to make a batch of choc chip cookies for about $2 that are better in every way (original tollhouse recipe, but I use more brown sugar than white instead of equal amounts).

The biggest mental roadblock for me was the dishes it produces, and I have a method now that only dirties a measuring cup, mixing bowl, 2 pans, mixing spoon, and an ice cream scoop. When the last batch of chilled dough goes in the oven, thats my cue to wash everything except the pans that are still in the oven. By the time the last batch hits the cooling rack, dishes are basically done, the house smells good, and I feel like I accomplished something.

Comment in r/Frugal

I’m not the greatest baker, just okay, but for me the homemade advantage for cookies is NO PALM OIL. Most store bought cookie have PO as an ingredient.

9. Pre-cooked canned beans

Purchasing canned beans offers immediate convenience but the beans lack flavor depth. Simmering dried beans is far more cost-effective, reduces unnecessary sodium, and lets home cooks dial in their preferred textures.

Comment in r/Frugal

Beans. They are super easy to cook from dry, taste better and have much less sodium. Plus dry beans cost less per cup than canned beans. I have a pantry full of dry beans now, they go in nearly every meal.

Comment in r/Frugal

If you have an instant pot and your beans aren't old you can do beans in around 45 mins (60 for kidney beans). I never buy canned anymore.

Learning a new skill might take a little patience up front, but the long-term savings often make the extra effort worthwhile.

What project would you tackle first? Read the full discussion in r/Frugal, and find more conversations like this in r/DIY, r/LifeProTips, and r/adulting.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

As is the case with so many things regarding new parenthood, hitting the milestone of a baby's first birthday can bring a wave of unsolicited advice. One parent in r/NewParents found herself questioning her baby's development thanks to mounting pressure from older relatives. Seeking reassurance, she took to the parenting community on Reddit with this question:

How normal is this? My baby will be 1 in two weeks and she's on track with everything from what I can tell but not walking on her own (she cruises and walks holding something). I can't tell if my family is being weird but my mom and grandma are obsessed with the fact that she needs to walk by her first birthday and keep making comments like she only has a few more weeks to figure it out. Everything I can find online says it's fine. We don't have her one-year appointment with the pediatrician for a few weeks so I will ask them, but should I be worried? And anything I should be doing to help her learn?

In the comments, redditors validate her instincts and share their own varied timelines.

The wide range of normal

Daycare professionals and experienced parents agree that hitting the one-year mark without walking is quite common. The developmental window for taking first steps is surprisingly broad.

Comment in r/NewParents

Both my kids didn’t walk by one. My oldest 15 months and my youngest 16 months
They are both healthy and happy and totally fine.
Their pediatrician told me that they don’t worry until it’s been 18 months. Every kid goes at their own pace

Don’t listen to people who haven’t had a kid in over 30 years. I swear they forget and think all their kids walked by like 8 months.

Comment in r/NewParents

I used to work at a daycare. I've seen babies range from 9-16 months with walking. When they start doesn't mean anything good or bad. Don't stress about the "averages" or "norms"

Comment in r/NewParents

My daughters daycare room has quite a few kiddos right around the one year mark. They vary from full on independent walkers graduating to the toddler room to barely pulling to stand- I promise it’s all normal at this age!

Comment in r/NewParents

My daughter didn’t walk till 13 months. Who cares
If she isn’t walking by 18 months, then they bring it up but you don’t need to worry a t all.

A blessing in disguise

While it's exciting to see a baby take their first steps, many parents advise enjoying the stationary phase while it lasts. Once a child becomes mobile, the physical demands of parenting increase exponentially.

Comment in r/NewParents

My daughter was 15 months before she started walking and, let me tell you, it's a blessing in disguise because it's easier for them to run away when they can walk!

Comment in r/NewParents

Both my kids were walking by their first birthday, and friends would often ask how they could encourage their kids to do the same.  I always just said not to rush it because once they walk it’s a whole new ballgame. 

Comment in r/NewParents

Yeah my first was around 15 months. My second started walking the week before 10 months and it was a nightmare, she was just completely oblivious to danger and always precariously teetering somewhere. Exhausting few months. Would not recommend.

And worse still is that when they learn how to walk they're just soooo mad whenever they're not walking. Goodbye sitting down in a restaurant or travelling by plane unless you want to spend the whole time wrangling your banshee.

Comment in r/NewParents

My son was 12.5mo when he started really walking and yeah…. It became so much harder lol they’re in one place and you look away for a second and bam! They’re gone. 🫠🫠 no impulse control whatsoever, can’t really talk, but they can move quickly and sneakily. 😅😅

Navigating family opinions

Older family members sometimes have strong opinions about a child's developmental milestones. Commenters urge the original poster to ignore the peanut gallery.

Comment in r/NewParents

the only issue with your baby's development timeline is your mom and grandmas opinion about it. those two sound hella annoying.

Comment in r/NewParents

My mil thinks my 5 month old is behind because hes not pulling to stand yet. Grandma's are always so confidently wrong about milestone timelines. It's so annoying 

Comment in r/NewParents

Totally normal especially since she’s standing and cruising 

She will be walking soon!

Anytime between 10-18 months is normal 

I would say 12-15 months is average 

But anything up to 18 months is totally normal 

Tell your relatives to chill

Comment in r/NewParents

So so normal. My guy didn't start until close to 14 months. First steps around 13.5 months. Don't let people worry you for no reason!! They're probably just sticking to some phrase they heard 30 years ago or something lol.

Comment in r/NewParents

It’s completely normal! As others have said, the normal range for walking is by 18 months. My parents and in laws were the same way - and I’ve learned that it’s because when my generation was young, it was common to lay babies down to sleep on their bellies (to avoid a flat head), which is obv against safe sleep guidelines now. I’ve learned that because we practice safe sleep (on your back only), it does delay gross motor skills to a little later than what was common/normal for the millennial generation. So totally normal reactions from your mom and grandma, and I tried explaining but they’re not the most receptive to new info, at least in my family’s case lol. I’m sure your baby is doing great!

The overarching consensus from redditors is to let little ones take their time and to politely ignore meddlesome family members.

What do you think about milestone pressure? Read the full thread in r/NewParents, and find similar conversations in r/Parenting, r/Toddlers, and r/Mommit.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

In an ideal world, getting dressed every morning would be simple. But especially as people enter new phases of life, old wardrobes often seem to stop working. The gap between youthful fast-fashion trends and mature or even dated-looking styles can leave people feeling like they have nothing to wear. One redditor in r/womensfashion recently reached a breaking point with her closet, seeking advice on how to navigate this style dilemma. Here is her post:

I feel like I am in this weird limbo of not wanting to dress "old" but also not dress like I am trying to be 20. Lately I feel like there is no in between. I don't know what my style is anymore so I tend to wear a lot of athleisure wear because it's easy and comfortable. How do you find your style and for those of you in your early 40s where do you shop?

EDIT: I should add that I am 5'2 and 115 lbs. I don't have an issue finding denim. I am not much of a dress girl except special occasions. I have a dog and live an active lifestyle. I think I just don't like the styles that are out right now. I don't like fussy clothing like things I have to constantly adjust such as tube tops and strapless bras. Perimenopause has me so irritable that I need comfortable, non-irritating clothes.

In the comments, redditors are quick to offer reassurance, sharing their own struggles with modern fashion alongside practical strategies for building a more workable wardrobe.

Blame the industry, not your age

Shifting the focus away from personal style shortcomings, many highlight what they see as a broader decline in garment manufacturing. The frustration with modern fashion often stems directly from the influx of poor-quality materials and disposable trends dominating store floors and e-commerce shops.

Comment in r/womensfashion

Trying to buy quality clothes has become a nightmare. I hate most of what’s on the racks, so much cheap, poorly made, crummy fabric junk. Hate it.

Comment in r/womensfashion

Im 51 and this has been my feeling for the last decade. Ive been trying to accumulate some great quality of basics that flatter me. Its difficult because even a lot of more expensive brands only seem a step up from fast fashion as far as quality. I was so disappointed when I ordered a pair of Joe's jeans this year. I got the Mia wide leg on sale for $100 (regular $200) and they are almost identical to the pair I got from quince for their regularprice of $50. . My tip is to look on ebay and see what used more expensive clothing actually SELL for on the used market. If they actually hold a good value they are likely a better investment. Pay no attention to what people price clothes at, pay attention to what they sell for.

Comment in r/womensfashion

So many of us seem to relate! I’ve been wearing scrubs to work and crappy clothes at home since forever. I just went to France and Spain for a few weeks. As an American who hadn’t been there in 20 years, it blew my mind. The quality of clothes was so much better and the cost was lower in many instances. I can’t stop thinking about it. I barely bought anything bc I’d travelled light and with my family but I’m seriously considering heading back to Paris with an empty bag. Who’s coming with me!!?!?!

Comment in r/womensfashion

I’ve been enjoying picking up the good brands on resale sites like mercari and Poshmark. I started doing that when I missed the quality from 20 years ago of my favorite brands.

The lifestyle "bucket" method

Building a functional closet may require unguarded honesty about daily routines rather than shopping for an idealized aesthetic. Categorizing outfits based on actual weekly activities helps reveal exactly where clothing gaps exist and prevents impractical purchases.

Comment in r/womensfashion

Think about your life in buckets. What activities do you do every week? Work from home, office, errands/casual wear, dinners/nights out. Create a few uniforms for each of those buckets. Then look at your current wardrobe to see what fits in those buckets and what wardrobe gaps you have.

What do you feel good in? What makes you feel comfortable? What items in your closet do you constantly reach for? What's collecting dust?

My lifestyle is pretty laid-back. Right now I'm living in poplin and linen pants, tanks, tees and button downs. I invest in natural fibers and spend time finding items that fit me well.

I keep my general wardrobe pretty classic and then buy an item or two each season that feels a little more trendy or contemporary. Sometimes it's a color (pop of red or butter yellow), sometimes it's a trending silhouette or accessory. I don't typically invest in these items as much if I don't think they have staying power.

Comment in r/womensfashion

the bucket thing works better than you'd think. i did something similar and realized i was buying clothes for a life i dont actually live, like fancy dresses collecting dust while i'm mostly at my desk or doing groceries. once i started dressing for what i actually do, it got easier to pick things. also thrift stores been great for trying new shapes without spending too much, especially for those trend pieces you mentioned

Comment in r/womensfashion

This is what I’ve done and I keep a lot of my casual/athletic clothes in fabric bins (IKEA Kallax!), so there are literal buckets involved for me. It’s great. I have a bucket that’s just “active mom adventures,” and it’s essentially my capsule wardrobe for running around with my kid. Hiking pants, sports bras, cute tanks, athletic dresses, skorts, etc. I keep it all in the same general color scheme so it’s pretty interchangeable.

I know some people are really adamant about being able to wear their clothes everywhere, not distinguishing between work clothes and other clothes, etc. I can’t do that or else I will ruin all of my nice stuff. I have my nice, pretty, high quality work stuff that’s for work, it’s a different bucket!

Embracing comfort and sensory needs

Physical changes influence what feels wearable, potentially making stiff fabrics and restrictive cuts unbearable. Prioritizing sensory comfort is a crucial step in discovering outfits that are both functional and visually appealing. If you feel good in it, chances are you'll look better in it, too. (Style, alas, is all about confidence.)

Comment in r/womensfashion

Oh girl, i feel this. I’m currently in the same boat but slowly finding my way.

Menopause has changed my body comp despite my hard efforts so i have accepted the fact that my 50yr old body needs a wardrobe change thanks to menopause causing a sudden development of weird sensory issues.

First off, look in your closet and figure out what you can keep that is comfortable and can be paired with other things. Keep those.

Next, figure out what you need ex. Jeans, dress pants, dresses shorts etc

Where to shop:

Jeans: democracy jeans are amazing. Another Redditor suggested them and they’re great. I got mine off amazon. American eagle (of all places!) also sells super comfortable jeans.

Linen pants: I’m in Europe now and found a shop called Pull & Bear or Berksha that sell great linen pants that aren’t super wide leg. H&M, Uniqlo, Old Navy, RW&Co also sell linen pants.

Shirts: I find that with mid-waist pants, shorter tops that hit just at the top of the hip bone look best as it accentuates the slimmest part your torso. I shop at A&E, H&M, RW&Co, Old Navy, Gap etc for these shirts.

Comment in r/womensfashion

Hard relate to menopausal sensory issues, suddenly some clothes are stiff and scratchy and I can no longer stand anything high on my neck or even some necklaces I just feel sweaty and claustrophobic.

Comment in r/womensfashion

I'm 43 and dress like Ms. Frizzle most days lol. Currently I'm wearing t-shirt dresses or leggings/circle skirt paired with a snarky tee. I work from home though.

When I need to look more professional, I stick to finding basics like fitted tees, straight leg pants, blazers, knee length dresses etc in non polyester fabrics. Make friends with a tailor or seamstress. When your clothes are fitted for you, I think it sets a more mature look. I shop a lot on Poshmark and other resale sites. Boden, J. Jill, J. Crew, and Banana Republic are some of my faves

Hitting a style slump is common, especially when ages, bodies, lifestyles, and fashion trends change all at once — like they've been plotting to make your closet suddenly as difficult as possible. But taking a step back to evaluate daily routines, prioritizing high-quality materials, and leaning into sensory comfort can make getting dressed enjoyable again.

What would you do to revitalize a stale wardrobe? Read the full thread in r/womensfashion to get inspired, and find more conversations like this in r/OUTFITS, r/fashion, and r/Millennials.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

When we tell a close friend something in confidence (and make it clear that it is indeed in confidence), it feels safe to assume the information goes no further. But what happens when that friend comes home to their partner or spouse? In a discussion on r/unpopularopinion, redditors debate whether sharing a friend's private life with a significant other is an acceptable norm or a betrayal of trust. The conversation highlights how differently people view the boundaries of friendship once a long-term relationship enters the picture.

The package deal expectation

For many people in long-term relationships, a romantic partner is an automatic confidant. They operate under the assumption that spouses share everything by default and view the couple as a single social unit rather than two entirely separate individuals.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

It is absolute insanity to assume ANYONE would keep something from their SO. Everyone that ever speaks to me knows that whatever they tell me, they tell my wife. Weve been together for 17 years, since we were 17yo. Its implied. Not even my heavy NDA’ed billion dollar company i work at expects me to keep stuff from my wife lol.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I assume everything I tell a person might be shared.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Im not going to volunteer it, but I am also not keeping a secret from my husband for anyone. He’s my number 1.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I saw this take the other day too; not that it's "chic", which strikes me as an odd choice of words, but that it's not accepted practice. In my friend groups, no one ever assumes that something you tell one long-term partner might not ultimately filter to their other half, unless you explicitly ask. Serious couples come as a package deal, and it never occurred to me until I saw a thread the other day that this wasn't standard practice.

even after you told them many times

This is the differentiator for me. If you've asked repeatedly for a close friend to keep something to themselves and explicitly included their spouse in that, then that's a betrayal of trust for sure.

I'm a 40-year-old, so most of my friends are in marriages or something close to it. My theory in the other thread was that maybe there's an age differential in where people stand on this point, so I'll ask you, OP, how old are you?

The privacy advocates

On the other side of the aisle, many firmly believe that relationship status does not grant a partner free access to someone else’s personal life. They argue that sharing a friend's secrets without permission is a direct violation of that buddy bond.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I’m with you OP. IMO sharing other’s private info without their permission is a clear breach of trust. Being in a relationship does not somehow make it ok.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

The worst feeling is when a friend's partner asks me about something I thought I had told my friend in confidence. Super heart breaking.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

If people disagree that’s ok. You have the right to have your partner as number one, but don’t be mad / feel left out when they don’t want to share anything with you.
Friend’s secret and personal life aren’t your couple tea.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Unless it's stated they are okay or want others to know, everything people tell stays with me. People need to be able to trust me and that means keeping stuff to myself!

Seeking the middle ground

Rather than adopting a strict rule for every scenario, some suggest that context should dictate what gets shared. They emphasize the importance of using discretion, passing along only the information that directly impacts the partner while keeping sensitive details private.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

There’s definitely a middle ground here. My partner knowing what’s happening in my life doesn’t mean he needs the private details of everyone else’s life. If my friend had a breakdown Tuesday, I might tell him, “My friend is having a hard time, so I may be distracted or need to go support them.” That gives him the context relevant to our life without sharing details that aren’t mine to share. And the pickle example is honestly even stranger. “My friend doesn’t like pickles” matters if we’re making them food. The childhood bullying story behind why they hate pickles? There’s no reason my partner needs that information.

I don’t think everything said between friends is automatically confidential from partners either. There’s a difference between normal conversation and information that is obviously personal, sensitive, or explicitly shared in confidence. Use some discretion: share what intersects with your relationship and protect the details that belong to your friend.

That said, nobody needs an objectively “good enough” reason to end a friendship. Friendship is voluntary. If you’ve told someone repeatedly that you don’t want personal things shared with their partner, they keep doing it, and you no longer trust or want that friendship, you’re completely free to end it. The other person is equally free to decide that having that restriction placed on what they discuss with their partner makes the friendship incompatible for them. Sometimes nobody needs to be declared universally wrong; your boundaries and expectations just don’t work together.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I feel like this opinion is unpopular although I agree.

Because on the flip side, is it cool to tell your friends everything that happens between you and your partner? I am guessing most if not all of the people who say keeping something from your partner is wrong, but doubtful they would be ok spilling info about a partner to a friend.

If you’re going to tell your boyfriend I had a bad day, you better also be telling ME when HE had a bad day. It goes both ways.

Just be respectful of OTHER PEOPLE’S business because it’s just that - other people, not yours.

ETA- I’m on a “need to know basis” and I can tell you I never need to know about someone’s private life if it does not explicitly involve me.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I don’t tell anyone anything that I expect them to keep from their best friend or partner.

Best bet is to vent to your therapist and keep the personal stuff personal

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I think it depends on the context. I would not appreciate my partner telling me, “guess who came out of the closet to me today! They told me not to tell anyone but I have to share”

I do respect my partner having to keep other people’s confidence.

Balancing the loyalty we owe to our friends with the intimacy we share with our partners is tricky. While some view their relationships as a completely open book, others prefer to keep their social spheres strictly, or somewhat, compartmentalized. Ultimately, establishing clear expectations from the start might just be the safest way to avoid any awkward dinner party conversations.

Do you share your friend's secrets with your significant other? Read the full thread in r/unpopularopinion, and discover similar conversations in r/relationships, r/TwoXChromosomes, and r/Advice.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

Breakups can be messy enough without trying to maintain a friendship with the person you once loved, or at least had real romantic and emotional investment in. In a discussion on r/unpopularopinion, one person sparked a fiery debate by claiming that staying buddies with a former partner creates boundary problems and breeds unnecessary drama. They argued that truly moving on requires a clean break and nostalgically referenced previous generations that allegedly never looked back. Redditors are rapidly jumping into the thread to share their own experiences and dissect whether keeping an ex around is a sign of personal growth or a simple recipe for disaster. (Hint: The answer isn't always straightforward.)

The situational middle ground

Many redditors argue that blanketing all post-breakup friendships as toxic misses the complexity of human relationships. They point out that everything from co-parenting out of necessity to realizing you naturally work better as platonic companions plays a major role in how these dynamics unfold.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Or staying friends with an ex is neither a sign of maturity or a red flag as a general statement, it's entirely situational based on a lot of different factors that are personal to the people involved.

Also when you start a relationship with someone whose friends with an ex your allowed to decide if you find that mature or a red flag but knowing the context at least helps with it.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

So what happens if you've been friends with someone for years, you decide to try dating, and after say 3 months you realize you aren't romantically compatible but still like each other as friends?

Are you obligated to throw away years of friendship because a trial run of a romantic relationship didn't work out?

There doesn't have to be a standardized response to a breakup. Some people can be friends after a breakup without any interest in sleeping with each other again. You should be considerate to the feelings of your future partner, but they should be able to manage any jealousy as long as your friendship stays within appropriate boundaries 

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Absolutely. There’s some understandable generalizations. Like expecting exes who are also co parents to stay close or being uncomfortable that your partner is best friends (like constant FaceTime/ texting) with someone they dated for a year. But general friendliness, catching up, seeing each other around is completely normal and almost always a sign of maturity.

The boundary and jealousy concerns

On the flip side, a vocal contingent finds it hard to shake the discomfort that comes with navigating a partner's lingering attachments. These folks feel that regular contact often indicates unresolved emotional baggage rather than healthy development.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

It is a complicated subject, I'm on a new relationship and it's my first time dating someone that wants to stay friends with his ex. The thing is that the lack of definition and intentions with that relationship created some insecurities on me that I haven't experienced in other relationships. After some months I can tell there are some signs that he has not really grieved that relationship.

Can I force him to grieve? No.

Can I decide what are my boundaries and needs? For sure.

The conflict comes when people assumes that it's cool to be in good terms with your ex, thinking that it's all in the past but there is some unresolved emotional luggage there, that can affect your current partner.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I think being civil with an ex is a sign of maturity but friends is likely an overstep in most cases. I feel like it breeds inherent mistrust with potential future or current partners and I never want to put such unnecessary pressures on my partner. 

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I define maturity in a relationship as respecting emotional boundaries and prioritizing your current partner's peace of mind. Keeping an ex close often creates messy overlap. Maturity is being clear decisive and letting past relationships stay in the past.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

It depends how close the friendship is. My soon-to-be ex husband left me alone with our newborn while I had postpartum depression so that he could go outside and talk on the phone with his ex alone. That was inappropriate. But I'm still friendly with some of my exes and I've dated guys who are friendly with exes. There's nothing wrong with that.

Pushing back on the generational myth

The original poster asserted that older generations "moved on without keeping tabs on their exes," but multiple older commenters and those with resilient older parents debunk that idea. They share stories of baby boomers who managed to seamlessly blend former romances into lifelong friendships.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

>Previous generations moved on without keeping tabs on their exes

I know several people from all age groups that remain friends/friendly with their ex. It's not a generational thing.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Exactly. My father who is a babyboomer is still in touch with his high school girlfriend as they ended up working at the same place a few years later and it was a silly high school relationship anyway. She is one of mothers closest friends now. It really isn't generational at all.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Funny you mention previous generations, my mother was born in 1965 and her ex husband is a photographer. They had a terrible, terrible wedding, and both moved on with other people. Still stayed in touch and he did the pictures for my parents’ 25th anniversary

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Previous generations moved on without keeping tabs on their exes, and their new relationships were much healthier for it.

My dad and mom separated some 30 years ago (when I was 6), didn't even officially divorce until I turned 18 since they were coparenting well and didn't want to have to formalize visitation/support/etc, and remained friends throughout their lives. When my mom had cancer and was sick for several years (by the time I was in my late 20s, so they had been separated for a couple decades) my dad and stepmom were two of the people who helped her the most, visited her, brought her things, etc.

Both managed very successful and happy relationships and eventually marriages (once they had divorced) with my stepdad and stepmom.

In the end, there is no universal handbook for how to handle an ex. Some people seamlessly transition back into platonic acquaintances and others need a clean break to properly heal. It comes down to evaluating your own emotional bandwidth and communicating honestly.

What do you think about people who stay friends with their exes? The debate continues in r/unpopularopinion. Find more conversations like this in r/relationships, r/dating_advice, and r/CasualConversation.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

Everyone has their own "best" time to catch a flight. But in a discussion on r/unpopularopinion, redditors weigh in on whether waking up in the middle of the night for an especially early departure is actually brilliant or just plain miserable. One flyer started the conversation by arguing that 5 a.m. flights are superior, even calling them the "ultimate travel hack." Here's their logic:

First, the airport is empty. Security lines take five minutes, and TSA agents are usually too tired to be overly strict. Second, your flight will almost never be delayed, because the plane has been sitting at your gate all night. Finally, you get to sleep on the plane because you’re genuinely exhausted, and you land at your destination with the entire day ahead of you. It’s absolutely worth the one rough morning.

In the comments, some travelers double down on this flight "hack," while others push back with the harsh realities of plane sleep, hotel operations, brain fog, and airport and transit culture.

The myth of plane sleep

For the early flight strategy to succeed in the way suggested, a passenger needs to be able to drift off comfortably at 30,000 feet. Unfortunately, many travelers find that their bodies simply refuse to power down while strapped into a cramped metal tube.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Every time i arrive to the airport in the middle of the night for an early flight, it’s absolutely slammed and I instantly regret my decision to fly early. Also who the heck can sleep on planes? I’m basically in pain for the entire flight from discomfort

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I think this is just entirely dependent on if you can sleep on planes or not. Personally i just can't sleep on planes (pr any other place that isn't dark, quiet, and comfortable) so making sure to get a reasonable amount of sleep is important to not make the rest of the day just a miserable slog. My body is just too picky about conditions required for falling asleep. I've done overnights before. But those who can sleep on planes can do quite well with this. And they definitely exist. I've known guys who come to work after overnight flights complete unphased whereas I'd be pretty out of it.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I can never sleep the night before if I have a really early flight. So I’m knackered all day. But you do you and your body clock.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Glad it works for you OP but getting up at 2:30-3am for a flight ruins the day before (dreading waking up) and the first day of the trip (exhausted and I can’t sleep on planes.  It risks ruining the entire trip and putting me a bigtime sleep deficit.

The hotel check-in dilemma

Arriving at a destination before noon might seem like a fantastic way to maximize a day off. However, reaching a new city hours before a room is officially ready introduces a completely different set of logistical hurdles.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

The only drawback I see to this is that hotel check-ins don’t begin until 3 PM…

But correct on every other point!

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

But you can drop off your bags at the hotels and go out to the city. I’ve literally never had a problem with that before.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

And if you arrive at your destination too early you can’t check in to your hotel and everywhere is still closed. Then you’re super tired by late afternoon.
I’ve done loads of really early flights and have started pushing it back a bit to about 9 or 10am if I can.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

The entire day… well that depends on where you are traveling….

It sucks to arrive tired and early to a hotel that makes you wait for check in time. Sometimes they will accomodate, but I’d rather be able to arrive directly to a shower.

Hidden truths of the morning rush

The promised perks of an early departure do not always match reality in and out of the airport. Frequent flyers note that airports may be harder to get to in the early morning and operate differently depending on the region. Alternative flight schedules might actually offer a smoother overall travel experience.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

You never flew JetBlue out of JFK. Their terminal is a zoo in the early mornings.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

The only downside being getting to the airport as public transportation is usually not available at those hours and taxi/uber might be hard to find as well

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Flying at 5am for work is awful because if you’re really busy then you wind up getting home from work, not packing until after dinner, and then getting about 3 hours sleep before your car arrives.

Then when you get to the airport you are in some haze of sleep deprived but also starting the day and unsure if you should have coffee and stay up, or try to sleep on the flight.

Then when you try to get coffee and breakfast, all the places are either not open, or if they are open they are slammed with a 45 min long line.

Then when you arrive at your destination it’s often too early to check in to the hotel.

All of this pain can be avoided by getting an 8am flight. More rested, can get breakfast in the airport, can work on the flight instead of being dead, can often check in to hotel when you arrive.

Choosing the right flight time ultimately comes down to personal physiology and travel priorities. Some people prefer the reliability of an early morning departure to start their adventures immediately, while others would rather avoid the exhaustion of an interrupted night of sleep — or the possibility that the airport is in fact not so quiet at 4 a.m. Finding the ideal balance requires knowing precisely how your body handles travel fatigue, and how the schedule at your local airport tends to function.

Do you prefer catching a flight early in the morning? Read the full discussion in r/unpopularopinion, and find more conversations like this in r/travel, r/Flights, and r/Shoestring.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

Generational divides are always a hot topic, but one recent question is making an entire age group nostalgic. A curious Gen Zer headed to r/Millennials to verify rumors they heard about the infamous nightlife and social habits of millennials during the early 2000s and 2010s — as that cohort was coming into or had recently reached adulthood. Wondering if the cinematic party scenes from movies were exaggerated, they asked for the truth in this post:

Gen Z here. I was shocked when I found out from a millennial co-worker that y’all had teen clubs. I heard about house parties, but dedicated teen clubs? Then when it was time for college, you went to the club or had some kind of party every single weekend, living it up. Now some millennials on TikTok claim that after college, they were partying on work nights, still clocking in the next day. For some reason, the teen clubs have since disappeared. I’m 23 now but even when I was in high school, that was not a thing.

House parties were not that common either. They were more like get-togethers with a small group of friends. We went to malls, but they were dying out at that point. Is it true that you were really living life this good? Or is it just exaggerated? I feel like my generation doesn’t really have fun like that and everyone is just super depressed and alone, more so since Covid.

Even I’m pretty introverted, which sort of sounds ridiculous given this post. 😂 Just so you know, when I think of a “millennial party” I think of something out of Party Rock Anthem, Project X or Rodrick’s party from the second DOAWD movie. It’s like I get nostalgia from something I didn’t even live through. I just feel like I didn’t really LIVE, if that even makes sense.

In the comments, redditors quickly confirm the rumors and share their tales of a deeply social, chaotic era.

House culture and red plastic cups

Millennial redditors are eager to confirm that house parties were precisely as prevalent as the movies suggest. Open-invite college keggers with text-message recipients fueled spontaneous gatherings that became an entire generation's weekend routine.

Comment in r/Millennials

YES. Absolutely. House parties, clubs, ragers, keg stands, you name it. Project X was based off of real life, not the other way around. You would get a random text about an address party something like "No drama! Get hammered, bring girls!" and the next thing you remember is being in a random persons kitchen drinking playing beer pong. During the golden age of EDM, around 2008 -2014. Brostep was in, hip hop was still fresh, drugs were had. My group of friends and I still talk about those times.

Comment in r/Millennials

I joined Facebook when you still needed a .edu email address to join, so the entire platform was just college students. There would be groups dedicated to finding parties in specific college towns, and people would use it to advertise their house parties.

People throwing keggers would literally post their address and “$5 cups / $1 Jell-O shots” or whatever booze they were offering, and anyone could go on and find a random house party near them and show up and be welcomed in. For any given night Thursday through Saturday, it was common to have 5-10 house parties in the off-campus housing areas to choose from.

My roommates and I started hosting keggers when we moved into a house and it was common to have 50+ people show up, only half of whom we knew personally. We’d go through at least 3 kegs and would make about $200-300 per party, which provided funds for our next party and all the alcohol we drank in between.

Good times, wild nights.

Comment in r/Millennials

Where are we going? Who's party is this?

Oh this girl from class invited me to her coworker's neighbor's party.

Like there were no questions about it. Show up only knowing your friend, leave being friends with like 15 people.

Comment in r/Millennials

I didn't go to any teen clubs because I live in a rural area and that wasn't a thing, but yes we partied all through college and most of us through our 20's. House parties from college are some of my favorite memories.

The era of teen clubs

Long before turning 21, many young people were already practicing for adulthood on the dance floor. Dedicated nightlife venues explicitly tailored for underage crowds gave teenagers a space to socialize out of the house.

Comment in r/Millennials

Yep. Local clubs had "teen nights" where they'd let 17-19 year olds come. Went to disgusting "foam parties" there. Totally forgot about it until this post, so thank you for the reminder of the memories by asking.

Comment in r/Millennials

Yeah lol me and my gf are late 30s and still joke about the funny teen club ads that came on in nj like 20 years ago.

"Teen night at Hunka bunka" Sounded lit but I stuck to house parties

Comment in r/Millennials

Yes we had actual raves at venues and they were clubs for teens as well. I grew up in California and I’m
an elder millennial

Comment in r/Millennials

😂 so accurate bro, i'm from Jersey too, Teen Nights @ the Ultra Bar was like Studio 54 for us. Miss some of the epic House Parties we had so much more though 😢

Clocking in after a long night

A major theme among the nostalgic replies is the seemingly boundless energy of youth. Bouncing directly from a late-night venue to a morning shift without missing a beat was a common badge of honor for millennial revelers.

Comment in r/Millennials

Oh yeah we did! Sometimes leaving a party at 1am and clocking in and 430am LOL

Comment in r/Millennials

Yep!
After the college party days we transitioned to corporate Happy Hours - which many times ended late into the night, and then we dragged our asses back to work the next day.

Once the weekend came, it was bar/club hopping, house parties, or beach.

Typing it out like this makes me realize why my parents thought I was an alcoholic 😂.
I’m 39, and 1 beer now gives me a 2 day hangover.

Comment in r/Millennials

I'm 42 and Absolutely, partied hard on week nights all the time. Basically Thursday-saturday night, often a Tuesday as well, basically every weekend. House parties, clubs, bars, after hours spots, bars, you name it. We went hard basically from high school until early 30s.

Comment in r/Millennials

I remember closing the bar down for a friends b day and rolling into work still in my bar clothes at 5am. Changing in the luch room only for my coworker to roll in pissed that I was drunker than him and he'd have to drive the hour to site. 🤣

Pre-smartphone freedom

Some folks attribute their carefree partying in the early 2000s to not worrying about being posted or watched online. Without the anxiety of social media broadcasting every minor misstep, socializing felt more authentic, liberating, and immersive.

Comment in r/Millennials

yeah, pretty much partied straight from 18 to 34. It was an amazing time. Work nights, school nights, didn't matter, had a blast, made so many friends. Graduated from high school in in 03, college in 07. They were amazing times when you could let loose and no one was sticking a phone in your face recording you.

Comment in r/Millennials

Yeah not being recorded by your peers 24/7 allows for a lot more fun

Comment in r/Millennials

It was honestly the best way to meet all kinds of people and get into unplanned adventures.
There was room for some chaos, instead of this dull curated reality that seems to have taken over especially since Covid.

I feel bad for the younger generations. People will argue that they can do the same things now, but the reality is they don’t hit the same because life has been drastically altered by Covid, technology dependence and algorithms. Social norms have changed, the zeitgeist has changed. It’s ultimately a different cultural time, a more dull and depressed one. I don’t know any millennials who would trade those years for being young now.

Looking back, the responses paint a vivid picture of a deeply social, fiercely energetic, at times even chaotic era defined by cheap drinks and carefree gatherings. It's clear enough that looser social structures and the lack of constant social media surveillance allowed for a unique type of spontaneous freedom and wildness that is harder to find today.

What do you think about these hard-partying millennial stories? Read the full thread in r/Millennials, and find more conversations like this in r/GenZ, r/AskReddit, and r/CasualConversation.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

Landing that very first role after college is a huge milestone, but what happens when that first job offer doesn't come with the salary you (or your parents) were hoping for? Over in a thread in r/careerguidance, one graduate is weighing their first professional victory against their parents' high demands:

New graduate majored in IT just got a job offer in product support for 45k. My parents want me to turn it down because it's 45 mins away but everything is 45 minutes away we live in the suburbs.

I've been averaging 3-4 interviews a week for the last 4 weeks. I'm currently on my 3rd interview for two different really big billion dollar companies, if I pass this stage I’ll go to final onsite interview. My parents say I should not take a job for 45k unless it's hybrid if a job is not hybrid it should pay at least 55k-60k.

However, I think my parents don’t understand how hard it is to get a job in my field these days. My family are immigrants from a 3rd world nation where I was born, and I left as a kid. My mom immediately got a 6-figure job after immigrating to the US because she is very extroverted and educated, also a very experienced CPA, but she doesn't know what it's like to be a new grad in the US.

I personally think I'm a new grad with no experience, no internships or anything. I'm lucky for the opportunity to work at a tech company and should take it, as I don't want to lose the opportunity.

In the comments, redditors offer a reality check on the current job market and share practical strategies for moving forward.

Times have changed

Many people are quick to point out that the professional landscape looks very different today than it did even a decade ago. They suggest the parents' perspective, while well-intentioned, is outdated for someone seeking an entry-level position in today's job market.

Comment in r/careerguidance

Your mom is basing her advice on what the market was like 20+ years ago. You should take the job (since this job is better than no job, like lots of your classmates) but keep low key looking.

Comment in r/careerguidance

take the job. you have no experience and no internships, your mom doesnt know what the market is like now for new grads. 45k is not amazing but its something to put on resume and you can keep interviewing while working there.

my first IT job was also support role with similar salary, it sucks at first but after 1 year experience you get much more calls from recruiters

Comment in r/careerguidance

Your parents have a very dated view of the job market; following your mom’s advice may leave you unemployed for a long time.

Take the first job you are offered. Your first job is just the first step in your career. It’s a hell of a lot easier to be picky about future employment when you’re already gainfully employed.

Take the job but don't stop the job search

The overwhelming consensus is to accept the offer without slowing down the ongoing job search. Having a real paycheck and a verifiable corporate title is seen as the safest bet.

Comment in r/careerguidance

Take the offer and keep looking. If you hop to better job quickly then just leave the first one off you resume. Earn money while you can and keep looking for the better opportunity.

The market sucks. Money is good to have. Sounds like you live at home right now so save everything you can. Cash on hand is freedom and flexibility.

$45,000 is not great money. Yes, many people get by on that or less, but it is pretty bare minimum and that commute will cost you so don’t get complacent on looking for a better job while you earn a bit from this one. When you get the better offer just take it and don’t look back.

Comment in r/careerguidance

i’d take it. the first tech-adjacent job is less about perfect comp and more about breaking the “new grad with no experience” loop. keep the big-company interviews alive, but a real support role on your resume beats waiting for your parents’ view of the market to become true.

Comment in r/careerguidance

It's always easier to find a job while you have a job. It'll make the process of interviewing a bit more complex (trying to find time during working hours to schedule calls/interviews/possible site visits); but you're still earning during the process. It's not a lot, but it's more than zero (which, after COL... usually amounts to negative, just to exist)

Comment in r/careerguidance

And don't tell them you are talking to any other companies. They might ghost you. Tell them you like the job and when can you start.

Even if you are there less than a month, you can still take a better offer.

Keep looking. Keep learning. And don't get complacent.

Experience is the real prize

Beyond the immediate paycheck, the real value of this job offer is the opportunity to get a foot in the door. Redditors emphasize that stepping stone roles quickly lead to better opportunities.

Comment in r/careerguidance

take the offer!! your other option is sitting at home doing nothing. you lose nothing by taking it

Comment in r/careerguidance

Yes. In one year you will get another, better one. I tripled my salary in my first 4 years from 65 to 200. There’s always a desperate employer.

Comment in r/careerguidance

If you do make sure you stick it out for a year or two for the work history and references.

I regret quitting my first out of college job. If I had stayed I would had been able to work my way up as the entire department was new. 

Comment in r/careerguidance

Take it. It's tough to get experience in this market. I started with 55k and was able to job hop multiple times for 50%+ raises after getting experience

Starting a career is rarely an easy climb, but by securing a starting role, this poster gains financial independence while keeping the door open for something bigger.

Would you take the offer? Read the full thread in r/careerguidance, and find more conversations like this in r/careeradvice, r/jobs, and r/ITCareerQuestions.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

Building a wardrobe that stands the test of time is no easy feat in the era of fast fashion. In a thread on r/malefashionadvice, redditors are discussing the pieces they have worn for years that justify their price tags. Here are the high-quality staples that always pay off.

The investment coat

Cold weather demands the most out of our wardrobes. Outerwear often comes with a steep price tag, but picking the right material and fit guarantees a reliable barrier against the elements for years.

Comment in r/malefashionadvice

I know it’s july but a nice wool overcoat

Comment in r/malefashionadvice

Agreed. Timeless and classy. Exactly what he is talking about. Bought mine in Barcelona in 2018. It still looks amazing. I had been wanting this type of jacket since college. I was 36 when I found it. Bought it in the heat of humid summer. I live in NorCal so I wear it often in the fall and winter for work. I love it and it gets compliments all the time.

Comment in r/malefashionadvice

Arcteryx atom jacket. Bought it 15 years ago, incredibly versatile and comfortable. It’s the only clothing item I have any attachment to.

Comment in r/malefashionadvice

Loro Piana winter coats. I laughed when I bought my first one, and the salesperson said they last a long time. I have many now, and I also have one that is 20 years old.

Footwear for the long haul

Shoes endure more daily wear and tear than almost anything else in the closet. Instead of replacing cheap pairs every year, prioritizing durable construction provides comfort and style that simply lasts.

Comment in r/malefashionadvice

I love my leather boots! I love that when it’s time I can get them resoled. I like getting them in a semi formal last so I can wear them to work with khakis and on the weekend with my jeans and a t shirt. I’m also very much in my Quality over Quantity phase.

Comment in r/malefashionadvice

Allen Edmond McAllisters in walnut. So versatile, works dressed up or makes any more casual outfit look sharper. I've resoled once already and look forward to several more. They last because of the quality leather and the goodyear welt construction that allows for recrafting.

Comment in r/malefashionadvice

A wool hoodie that fits like a dream. A pair of Wolverine 1000 mile boots, pair of bundstones, pair of Birkenstock Arizona’s, found Ag and Paige jeans that fit my body will never buy another brand, a pair of ray ban aviators. Filson waxed jacket. Each in of these are 5 yrs or older and not even thinking of replacing.

The perfect fit

Sometimes a piece of clothing remains a favorite simply because of how it makes you feel when you put it on. Even if you need to hire a professional tailor to make some adjustments, a proper fit elevates the entire experience.

Comment in r/malefashionadvice

I have one Brunello Cucinelli wool button-down shirt that I bought years ago before the brand really exploded. I made a mistake of putting it on and never wanted to take it off, so sunk way more money into it than I have on clothing before (~$300 at the time, it was on sale). I have worn it so many times and it is still so soft and in impeccable condition, zero regrets except that I can't afford another.

Comment in r/malefashionadvice

Not sure if this counts, but I've never regretted getting clothes tailored. I'm not talking about fully custom- made clothing (although I'm sure that's lovely), but rather getting off-the-rack clothes altered to fit better. It's not a huge expense, but it can make a huge difference.

Comment in r/malefashionadvice

Brooks Brothers non-iron shirts.

End of a busy restaurant shift, they still look good. My other shirts look like crap 2 hours in. Almost 10 years old and only a little fraying of the cuffs.

The heirloom accessories

High-quality finishing touches can tie any look together perfectly. Over time, the well-crafted investment pieces gain character and eventually become heirlooms that can even be passed down to the next generation.

Comment in r/malefashionadvice

Omega Speedmaster Professional. Bought it 30 years ago , brand new $1200 from an authorized dealer.Still have papers, box, receipt. Gave it to my kid. Now, wearing a 321.

Had it for 30 years. Bought when I was around a junior in college. Worth it then, worth it now.

Comment in r/malefashionadvice

Wearing mine right now. I’m a watch nerd so this is not in the cards for me but if I could only wear one watch forever this is the answer.

Comment in r/malefashionadvice

Randolph Engineering aviators. My current pair has lasted 9 years

While high upfront costs can feel intimidating, knowing a pair of shoes or a sturdy winter jacket will still look sharp a decade later makes all the difference.

What pieces are holding up best in your rotation? The debate continues in r/malefashionadvice, and find more conversations like this in r/BuyItForLife, r/mensfashion, and r/streetwear.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

While prioritizing mental health is a good thing, buzzwords can sometimes give bad behavior an easy alibi. In a thread on r/AskReddit, redditors weigh in on the fine line between true personal wellness — like much-touted "self-care" — and plain old selfishness. Ditching commitments and acting poorly in public spaces are a couple ways commenters spot the difference between legitimate boundary-setting and convenient excuses. Here's what they say about the darker side of wellness culture pervading culture at large.

Weaponized therapy speak

Therapeutic concepts help people navigate personal struggles and communicate their needs effectively. According to a vocal contingent of redditors, however, individuals sometimes take these specialized terms and apply them to completely normal disagreements to avoid taking accountability for their own actions.

Comment in r/AskReddit

"Protecting my peace"

"Setting boundaries"

"Speaking my truth"

Along with the misuse/overuse of: gaslighting, narcissist, toxic, abusive, trauma, triggering, PTSD, etc.

It cheapens the scenarios when all of these terms actually apply.

Comment in r/AskReddit

I have a coworker who constantly misuses therapy language. Just because someone remembers something slightly differently than you, that doesn’t mean they’re “gaslighting” you. And “boundaries” aren’t things you tell people they aren’t allowed to do in your presence.

I used to be friendly with her, but it got to be too frustrating. If I told her “that’s not what those words mean”, she would whine that I was “always correcting her”.

Comment in r/AskReddit

Misusing the idea of boundaries to control and punish people for doing things you don't like.

Boundaries are supposed to be healthy limits you put on yourself, like I won't over commit to doing too many things that will make me feel overwhelmed.

Instead, people will weaponize boundaries. E.g. if you contact me for something, I'm going to tell you that I don't owe you a response within X amount of time because if you do that's you being controlling. Like sure, you don't need to respond right away, but if you don't respond after a week consistently that's just you being an asshole resenting people for bothering to want to be friends with you and having the audacity to invite you to something when you're feeling overwhelmed and guilty /not wanting to say "no".

The fair-weather friend

Genuine friendship involves mutual effort and the willingness to support each other during difficult times. Yet people may mask their reluctance to be a supportive shoulder to lean on by claiming they are merely conserving their own energy, co-opting wellness language.

Comment in r/AskReddit

Choosing to not support a friend during a hard time because it’s “draining” or “negative.” I’m not referring to friends that are in need of constant support, but friends that are otherwise stable and healthy individuals that are going through a difficult situation.

Comment in r/AskReddit

Not pushing yourself out of your comfort zone sometimes. Especially when it comes to following through with commitments and flaking on people. Once im a while is totally okay when its needed, but just because youre feeling a bit tired and "don't want to" makes you selfish. If you want a village you've got to be a villager

Comment in r/AskReddit

Canceling plans at the last minute because you “need to protect your peace.” Sometimes you're protecting your peace. Sometimes you're just being inconsiderate.

Convenience disguised as wellness

Tackling daily chores and following social conventions inherently involves a degree of personal compromise. Attempting to bypass these daily obligations under the pretense of prioritizing personal well-being is a common source of frustration for certain redditors.

Comment in r/AskReddit

Not taking responsibilities, avoiding hard work and chores just to tell you in face that they are investing in self care. This is not self care.

A colleague of mine shirked her responsibilities towards her family, child and home, wouldn't clean, wouldn't cook and at work place hardly ever worked, just the bare minimum. However, when she wanted to take sick leave as holiday (we all knew) or off time, or avoid a meeting, or avoid some other work she would put on that face and tell us how important it is to take time off for self care because she has to work so hard.

Comment in r/AskReddit

I work as a park ranger where we have boardwalks with no dogs allowed unless they are service animals. The amount of people that will look you in the face and lie to you when you ask them if it’s a service animal is crazy.

Comment in r/AskReddit

Frrr. My father is blind since birth and when I was growing up he always had a guide dog. Over the past few years people have been overdoing it with the amount of fake service dogs. As a result he's been getting a lot more resistance when going into public spaces with the dog (despite the dog being obviously very well trained and clearly guiding him)

Comment in r/AskReddit

I went out of my way to guard someone's unlocked bike. A spiritually minded person told me that I should just leave it to the universe to figure out. They don't realize that they are part of the universe, so they can help out too. They are just using spirituality to avoid doing the right, but inconvenient thing.

Figuring out the difference between legitimate boundaries and unfair excuses is a complex issue. But sorting out these strains on communication and bonding is necessary for healthy relationships. Taking breaks is essential and checking in with yourself is always positive. But resentment surfacing between two purportedly respectful people indicates that it's time to engage in further conversation — or simply check out.

What examples have you seen of selfishness disguised as self-care? The debate continues in the thread in r/AskReddit, and find more conversations like this in r/CasualConversation, r/TrueOffMyChest, and r/LifeAdvice.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

Getting laid off is stressful enough, but navigating the final paperwork and equipment returns can add insult to injury, especially if the powers that be seem to make things harder than they need to be. One redditor in r/Layoffs recently experienced this firsthand when trying to hand in their work laptop after being let go. Mentioning how security turned them (and their kid) away, the story sparked an intense conversation about setting boundaries that separate your career from your personal life:

Got laid off. Went to the office to return my laptop with my 2-year-old son. This experience taught me a lesson. I was recently laid off, and today I went to the office to submit my laptop as part of my last-day formalities. My wife is also working, and we have a 2-year-old son. There was no one at home to take care of him, so I had no choice but to take him with me. When I reached the office, I was told that my son couldn’t enter the office premises. I explained that it was my last day and that I just needed to submit my laptop and leave. But the answer was still no.

I ended up calling a colleague and asking them to look after my son for what I thought would be 5 minutes. In reality, it took around 15 minutes. Honestly, I felt really bad about the whole situation. I’m not saying the company broke any rules. I understand that offices can have policies about visitors and children.

But going through this immediately after being laid off made me realize something: At the end of the day, a company is a company. Your personal situation may not matter to them as much as it matters to you. You can give years of your time, work late, take ownership, and consider the company a big part of your life. But when the employment relationship ends, it’s ultimately a business decision.

For me, this was a painful reminder to keep things in perspective. Take care of your family. Build your life outside of work. Don’t make your company your entire identity.

In the comments, redditors share outrage, offer strategies for returning hardware from a distance, and echo the importance of leaving the corporate-first mindset behind.

Navigating laptop logistics

Many redditors feel that driving to an office to drop off a computer is an unnecessary courtesy, suggesting that former employees should make companies handle the shipping logistics instead.

Comment

Next time have them mail you a pre labeled box to send in your laptop. Don’t waste your time being extra nice and saving them time or money by dipping anything off.

Comment

Yeah, normally you drop it at a UPS store, and they package it up for you there. No stupid rules; it's like an Amazon return.

Comment

During a layoff, I returned my laptop via FedEx and sent back the company mug and other small swags, I doubt HR cared though. I kept the company hoodie and wears them when I am in Vegas while on my worst behavior.

Companies do not care or not allowed to care, but hopefully co-workers do and they are the ones that can help you going forward. Good luck OP!

Holding the line at the front desk

Others argue that being denied entry is the perfect excuse to leave the property immediately, advising against jumping through hoops when security blocks the door.

Comment

This is what I would have done, I assume it was in the building lobby. Called your boss and or HR, and said I am here to return your property. Security has denied my entry with my child, and since you laid me off I had to eliminate child care to save cost. Please send someone down for the equipment and signed the separation agreement, happy to wait for you.

Comment

I would have just put the laptop on the security desk table, took a picture as proof of return, then left. No way I’d play their humiliation game.

Reevaluating corporate loyalty

Beyond the physical logistics of exiting a building, the encounter serves as a stark reminder. Redditors chime in to validate the poster's epiphany that sacrificing personal milestones for an employer rarely pays off.

Comment

I once heard it said this way:

Your boss is never going to remember all those hours of overtime you put in. You son will, though.

Comment

Your job will replace you or let you go without a second thought, but your family and loved ones cannot replace you. No company is worth sacrificing your health, your peace, or the time you have with the people you love.

Comment

Please stop thinking the company is your family. They could care less about you. Just do what is expected and nothing more

Comment

In Corporate America, you need to have the mindset that they have zero loyalty to you and give them the same respect. Their loyalty is to the shareholders and their bottom line.

Yes go into a job and do what’s expected. Meet their expectations or exceed it if you think there’s a chance for advancement and growth but don’t give too much to where you get taken advantage. At the end of the day, we are all just a number to them.

Parting ways with an employer can be complicated, but this parent's experience underscores especially difficult realities about work culture. Employees can mail back their gear in an oversized box or leave it on the reception desk, but corporate culture can make it easy to forget that a job is ultimately just that: a job. Not being part of a family. Having a clear work-life separation can be the greatest perk of all.

Have you ever experienced a difficult departure from a job? Read the full story in r/Layoffs, and find more conversations like this in r/careerguidance, r/TrueOffMyChest, and r/CasualConversation.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

Boomers have long enjoyed telling millennials that they might have an easier time affording a house if they stopped buying luxury yet dainty foods like avocado toast, sparking heated intergenerational conflict. In a thread on r/unpopularopinion, redditors tackle one of the internet’s most infamous financial hot takes: the idea that buying avocado toast is keeping younger generations from owning homes.

While the original claim is widely mocked as mathematically absurd, the original poster argued that the underlying sentiment about hyper-consumerism and subscription culture might actually hold water. Here's where the conversation began:

Not because skipping brunch would magically buy us a house. Housing, healthcare, education, and childcare really did get absurdly expensive.

But they may have been right about the culture.

We became the ultimate consumers. We subscribe to everything, order random stuff on Amazon constantly, pay extra for convenience, replace perfectly good things because a new version looks better, and normalize dozens of small monthly charges.

The genius of modern consumerism is that it rarely takes $1,000 from you at once. It takes $8, $15, $30, and $50 from you over and over until you barely notice.

We carry a shopping mall in our pocket, with algorithms spending all day figuring out what to sell us next.

Avocado toast was a dumb example.

But “you guys spend a ridiculous amount of money on unnecessary s***” might not have been completely wrong.

The thread quickly evolved into a nuanced discussion about systemic inequality, the true cost of convenience, and why folks spend money the way they do.

The real price of convenience

The conversation quickly zeroes in on why people spend so much on small, everyday luxuries. For many, outsourcing meals and relying on delivery apps isn't just about laziness. It highlights a culture where time has become an especially scarce and valuable commodity.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Good unpopular opinion. Upvote.
Here’s my take. Younger generations support these kinds of consumption for convenience, yes, but also kinda outta necessity.
- We subscribe to everything because networks all wanted to cash in on streaming. You could argue they wanted to cash in because people were buying into that system, but either way the reality is that now we’re stuck with it and you need 5 subscriptions today to watch your shows and favorite sports team. Why is college football on friggen Peacock? Or Thursday night football on Amazon. F that.
- Amazon is putting businesses and malls out of business left and right. Again, we’re stuck at this point. Half the stuff my wife and I got from our baby registry couldn’t even be purchased in a physical store.
- we replace stuff constantly because they make shit products now. Plus the planned obsolescence of tech. I threw away a perfectly good iPad from my grandpa’s house passed away. Couldn’t download any apps for it because it was out of date. I liked this article, which is behind a paywall but this link works
- convenience is almost a necessity for households now because there’s no free time or labor that previous generations had from the traditional stay at home mom. Mom and dad are both at work now. DoorDash, Amazon, grocery delivery, dry cleaning, etc. has all been outsourced.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I think about your last paragraph a lot. My dad built my bedroom furniture. He repaired everything in our house, cars, appliances, whatever. Did all the maintenance. He also left for work at 7:30 am and was home at 5:15 and ready to rumble at 5:30. My mom was a housewife. The clothes were washed, dinner was on the table, the bathrooms were clean, our homework was started. We just had a ton more free time as a family.

Now, I lose one weekend day just doing home maintenance, errands, lawn, cleaning, groceries. Often my wife and I will split the stuff up, and we don’t even get to hang out together doing it. Our daughter is grown now, but once you added in her sports and school activities, we had zero time and it was a hassle to keep up with things. I see why people resort to outsourcing.

I have a buddy who is well off and has two kids still in school but not driving. His family door dashes, has groceries delivered, outsources a ton of stuff. He said he would rather sit and watch his kids play soccer than save money.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I think this is actually the point they are making. Convenience ( going out to eat) over doing it yourself/ shopping etc.

Cheap wants and impossible needs

Another distinct theme centers on the reality of modern inflation. When massive milestones like homeownership feel out of reach, treating oneself to a modest breakfast or a new screen can feel like a viable way to cope with financial stress.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

The needs of life used to be cheap, the wants were expensive.

Tech like a stereo or boombox or computer or TV would be a huge investment. But your rent or mortgage and food expenses and your car would be relatively easy to afford on an average salary or wage.

Now the needs are expensive, but the prices of many wants are very cheap. Electronics and TVs can be affordable, relatively speaking.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Now the needs are expensive, but the prices of many wants are very cheap.

Bread and circuses. Price of bread goes up, balance it out by dropping the price of circuses, stave off the peasant revolt.

There's an old (possibly apocryphal) tale about the Harbormaster near Rome in the days of the Roman Empire asking whether to unload the cargo ships with grain first or the cargo ships with loads of sand for the Coliseum floor. The city officials said the people were starving, angry, on the brink of bloody uprising - so obviously, unload the sand!!

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I'd guess it's the "lipstick effect." When you can't afford a house and it feels like you'll never be able to while you're toiling at a job you hate for not enough pay... Sometimes to keep your sanity and experience a little joy you just go ahead and buy the avocado toast as a little treat. Does it make sense financially/mathematically? No. But we aren't robots. People buy with emotion.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

You can't really save enough to outrun a mortgage payment. Luxuries are incredibly cheap while cost of living is expensive. Lots of people have just come to terms with never being able to have kids or own property because they can't save up enough money in a reasonable time frame to where that's realistic. Yeah I'd rather have my morning coffee for 3.75 before work because that's still only 80 bucks a month. Median down payment was almost 80 thousand dollars, so it'll only take me 1,000 months to save up. I can't wait for have my down payment in 80 years

Finding the financial middle ground

Rather than pointing fingers at either systemic economic hurdles or individual frivolity, a significant contingent of the community highlights that both factors play a role. Acknowledging runaway inflation does not completely absolve people from the consequences of impulsive spending.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Its both things dude.

Wages have not kept up with inflation but also people are insanely frivolous with their money.

2 things can be true at once

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Two things can be right. Yes, the average American goes for the convenient option that costs more far more often than we’d like to admit and those daily cafe runs add up overtime. The economy also just sucks and saving $7 a day probably won’t be enough to afford you a home in the next 5 years. Will it help pay for other important expenses, though? Probably.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

It's not about $7 dollars a day though. Its not just avocado toast, there's lots of those small indulgences. In the morning make something cheaper at home, make coffee at home instead of Starbucks, make a lunch you can take to work instead of buying something at a local cafe, in the evening eat something that you batch cooked over the weekend. Instead of having 4 streaming services have 1 at a time and rotate through them once you've watched everyone you want to on a service.

These are all small changes that only save you a little bit at a time but day after day, month after month, they all add up

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

You're so wrong. This is exactly the point of the post. It's not just the coffee, and not just the avocado toast - it's a mindset. If you stop spending 80/month on coffee you'll realize it's just the tip of the iceberg.

It's the delivery apps and carry-out dinners when you should be cooking at home most days, the alcohol, the $500 handbag/watch/shoes when the $100 one is just as good, the gym memberships, the subscriptions, the gaming systems, the collectibles, the new phone when the old one is fine, new car when the old one is fine, and on and on and on and on. When you start really valuing every dollar you don't miss any of that crap, and you realize those "cheap luxuries" are anything but cheap, and not really all that luxury either.

btw I drink great coffee every day that I make in my nice house for $10/week and paying the mortgage just fine.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I know this isn't what you're talking about, but I happen to like avocado toast. So I buy avocados, mash them up, put some scallions and lime juice in, and then some cherry tomato halves on top. It takes minutes to make and costs like $3, so I never understood paying for someone else to make it. Completely beside your point, but that's what I have to say about avocado toast.

The avocado toast clash was perhaps never really just about "avo toast," as it's lovingly referred to. The intergenerational argument reveals a much broader truth about modern consumerism and uncomfortable economic realities. While it is undeniably harder to afford massive milestones like housing without generational wealth, the conveniences people pay for daily (often on digital devices) can slowly drain bank accounts in ways past generations couldn't have imagined. Recognizing the difference between a systemic barrier and a personal spending habit might be the first step in regaining control of one's wallet.

Do you think avocado toast is a symbol of millennials' desire for small luxuries? The debate continues in the thread in r/unpopularopinion, and find more conversations like this in r/Frugal, r/personalfinance, and r/Millennials.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

Wedding traditions are constantly evolving, and even one of the most recognizable symbols of marriage may be losing its shine (pun fully intended). In a thread on r/Millennials, titled simply, "Are wedding rings dead?" one curious commenter asked if the formal gold wedding band is going out of style. It seems married people in their 30s and beyond are increasingly ditching their matrimonial jewelry in favor of bare fingers, the original poster noted. This observation prompted redditors to share exactly why they keep their valuables locked in a safe box, or in the case of another group, why they will never take their wedding rings off.

Practicality and safety first

For many couples, the choice to skip wearing the wedding ring comes down to practical reasons. Workplace hazards, skin irritation, and the fear of damaging expensive jewelry lead plenty of people to leave their bands at home.

Comment in r/Millennials

My wife and I don't wear our rings.  We put them in a safe spot years ago so we don't have to worry about them.  I was doing a lot of mechanic work back when we got married and it was trashing my ring.   My wife works in surgery and can't wear rings at work.  

Comment in r/Millennials

I often have eczema on my fingers/hands and will not wear my ring during flairs. Sometimes I just forgets to put it back on / don’t feel like wearing jewelry.

My husband always wears his. 

Our commitment toward each other is the same whether we wear our rings or not. It’s just a personal preference.

Comment in r/Millennials

I have a true gold wedding ring, and a sterling silver dupe for when we travel. I realized a few years ago that the silver one doesn't give me a rash the way the gold one does if I'm not good about letting the skin underneath fully dry before putting the ring back on. The $$$ gold one now lives in a safe, and the cheap silver one is my day to day.

Comment in r/Millennials

Maybe it's not so much a generation thing and more a social or functional thing. I have been married for decades and haven't worn my ring since I was newlywed. My wife wears hers all of the time. It only comes off to clean. I have worked my whole life in blue collar trades where a ring was not safe to wear and I just got used to not wearing it. She works an office job and has never had to worry about accidentally welding her ring to her finger.

The rise of unconventional alternatives

When traditional bands do not fit a lifestyle, some spouses get creative with how they show their commitment. Married redditors say they swap out formal jewelry for tattoos, inexpensive rubber bands, or totally unexpected household items.

Comment in r/Millennials

I wear my wedding ring still. It was my husband's grandmother's ring and I like that it's simple. My husband lost two different gold bands that we bought as estate jewelry so he stopped wearing a ring. Instead he got a wedding ring tattooed on his ring finger.

We got married young and very poor. Now we're not-so-young and have managed to climb to the heights of upper poverty!

Comment in r/Millennials

Both my husband and I have cheap rings for this sorta thing. I have a $20 fake gold ring, he has a rubber ring for work and a One Ring for otherwise.

If we know we won’t be sweating or hiking or working out, we’ll wear our “real” rings. But it’s nice to have alternatives.

Comment in r/Millennials

I had my husband purchase me an engagement Le Creuset Dutch oven because I’ve never liked rings, ever. My wedding band is a chocolate diamond encrusted nightmare before Christmas ring that I wear occasionally on a necklace but silicone lightening purple ring all day everyday. MIL was so weirded out by the engagement pot 🤣

In sickness and in health — and for everything else

Despite a wave of barehanded spouses and partners wearing cheap dupes, plenty of couples still view their wedding bands as a nonnegotiable accessory. These traditionalists keep their rings firmly on their fingers through almost every daily activity.

Comment in r/Millennials

Can’t relate. All the married folks in my life including me wear theirs. I switch to a silicone one for the gym, camping, etc. mine has such a deep meaning to me. It’s more than just a symbol.

Comment in r/Millennials

Same. I feel naked without mine. My wife regularly doesn’t wear hers but it’s all choice and I don’t mind. For me, it’s a symbol to my absolute dreamboat of a wife… and makes a very satisfying CLACK sound on the gear stick along to the snare drum! 

Mine never comes off unless I’m doing something like DIY or gym. With the weather we’ve had in England recently I have quite the wedding ring tan line!

Comment in r/Millennials

Yeah I wear multiple rings (my engagement, wedding band, and an anniversary ring) literally 24/7. Including when I sleep, shower, and workout.

Some people choose a conventional diamond while others opt for a thick rubber band or an engagement Dutch oven (hey, the premium ones don't come cheap). Whatever the choice, the ultimate consensus is that there is no singular right way to symbolize a marriage. The true measure of a partnership goes far beyond the jewelry worn, or ditched, on a daily basis.

What item would you choose to represent your relationship? Explore the full conversation in r/Millennials, and find similar stories in r/Marriage, r/wedding, and r/relationships.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

For many, tossing and turning at bedtime while their brains flip through dozens of mental tabs is a nightly struggle. However, there is an elusive group of individuals who manage to hit the pillow and completely shut down almost immediately.

In a thread on r/CasualConversation, one frustrated insomniac asked these rapid sleepers to share their secrets — and redditors are responding with their personal strategies.

The sheer exhaustion method

For some redditors, the easiest way to guarantee a quick transition into rest is to completely drain their physical and mental batteries during the day. By the time they crawl under the covers, their bodies have no choice but to shut down.

Comment in r/CasualConversation

Job requires 12 miles of jogging, I work 12 hours a day, goto bed shortly after on a full stomach after cleaning the entire house up after a days worth of use. I’m asleep almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.

Wife gets off at 4-5pm every day sitting at a desk and hasn’t slept a full night in over a decade.

It’s not really my secret, but working yourself to exhaustion, mentally and physically, every single day leads to good sleep for me.

Comment in r/CasualConversation

> I’ve always thought my immediate sleep was just part of my gene pool;

It's definitely a bunch of factors, including environmental, daily habits, and genetics so I don't think you're completely off the mark. If I have a very productive day (both mentally at work, and physically at the gym), I can fall asleep very quickly and naturally don't have insomnia or difficulty sleeping, but I naturally have a late onset (syndrome? I was never diagnosed yet) sleep pattern so I always stay up doing stuff until my bedtime (1-2am). I do have a bad sleep hygiene (phone in bed) which I have been trying to change, because unfortunately the world revolves around morning larks and I need my 7h of sleep to feel healthy.

Comment in r/CasualConversation

My works already exhausts me to the point I knock out, I don't have the energy to rumination or doing mental battle.

Escaping to another reality

When staring at the back of your eyelids isn't enough to quiet racing thoughts, a few creative redditors recommend building fictional worlds inside your imagination that gently distract your mind into slumber.

Comment in r/CasualConversation

I usually fall asleep in 5-10 mins, under 5 if I'm really tired. I like to close my eyes and consciously imagine something positive. Example: Sometimes I plan an imaginary vacation - place, outfits, people, hotel room, etc. While doing that, I drift off to sleep!

If I have something i'm stressed about, then before I imagine my positive scenario, I imagine putting the stressful situation "away". I get fun and creative with it too. Put the situation in a locked treasure chest to deal with later or strap it to a rocket to send it to the moon.

Also, sometimes I consciously relax my body. You might be surprised how much tension you're holding in your body even when you're laying down for sleep. I usually do my whole body at once, but I've heard of others focusing on relaxing one body area at a time. Feet, legs, hips, shoulders, arms etc.

Comment in r/CasualConversation

This is my answer as well. I have a few worlds, I pick one and continue the story or just wander. I'm probably going to flesh out some more of one of the cities in my skypubk setting doing that tonight. I then use these settings to run ttrpgs in or just write short stories in

Comment in r/CasualConversation

I indulge in letting my imagination run free for a bit but my brain is always working on those imaginary scenarios i would want to experience but wont ever happen (winning the olympics etc). That type of active thoughts prevents sleep, so I force my mind to go blank after a while and then fall asleep within seconds. I guess walking the dog before bed and then not touching any screens afterwards help a fair bit too.

Breathing your way to dreamland

Counting breaths might not totally defeat the mental scroll of thoughts and memories, but if you keep bringing your focus back to your breath, eventually it will pull you into a sleep state.

Comment in r/CasualConversation

I do breathing exercises. Breathe in slowly for a 4 count, breathe out slowly for an 8 count. This helps balance the brain’s hemispheres. If I’m not sleeping after 8 rounds I roll to my other side. Repeat until sleeping

Comment in r/CasualConversation

When I find myself thinking of things when it’s time for sleep I try to bore myself by timing my even breathing with counting down from 100. If I ever have to think about what number comes next I start over at 100. The idea is to not think and bore myself to sleep. And of course, relax your body.

Comment in r/CasualConversation

As someone who is in the same boat as you, i've recently gotten into a better groove of falling asleep.

Trick is to just take deep breaths, there's a lot of different cadences that people recommend, from sleep experts, military people, psychologists. I find that which one you do really doesn't make a difference. The key is to just take deep slow breaths in some shape or form and try to keep doing them for as long as you can. Your mind will race as per usual, but it's easier to let thoughts pass when you're actively just trying to follow a deep breathing pattern.

I'll get drowsy and sleepy within 5 minutes and by about 10 i'll be out.

Training the brain through habit

Many fast sleepers attribute their superpower to nightly rituals that condition their brains to associate specific environments and actions with rest.

Comment in r/CasualConversation

Routine. I only lay in my bed to sleep. I rarely watch TV in bed in the morning or at night. When I do get restless I start using my scent diffuser. I have trained myself over the years to go to sleep to it. If that doesn't work I leave my bed.

If I am in bed for more than 30 minutes and am awake I go back to the living room.

All of this sleep training was because I didn't know I had sleep apnea. Once I got my cpap I can now go to bed and stay asleep most nights.

Comment in r/CasualConversation

Stopped looking at my phone in bed. No exceptions, ever. Results may vary, but for me, it trained my brain to fully stop thinking about bed as a place for processing (in terms of scrolling, looking at screens, reading news articles, etc.). I also don’t have a TV or computer visible from bed, so I really have no mental association with being in bed and looking at screens at this point. 

Comment in r/CasualConversation

I have a set routine before bed regardless of what I was doing all evening. It starts with tuning into the podcast I’m listening to on my phone, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, removing makeup, pause podcast, go take a shower, come back, restart podcast, get into pyjamas, moisturise face, hop into bed, switch phone to a sleep story, or switch on my white noise machine. Then usually fall asleep quickly.

I don’t have a TV in my bedroom and only sleep in there.

Comment in r/CasualConversation

Idk if this is normal but I usually turn on my fairy lights which maybe signal my brain its time for sleep, make a rough schedule for the next day which makes me excited for the day, turn on a podcast and within 10 minutes of it I can feel the strain in my eyes. It's at that point of time that I turn the lights completely off and drift to sleep within 5 minutes.

Just a tip : Try to limit the usage of your bed for other purposes than sleeping (e.g. I spend my day at college and then library most of the times and come to room only when I need to rest)

Falling asleep quickly often comes down to discovering the specific cues that work for our own unique brains to let them know it's time to power down.

What strategies do you use to quickly fall asleep? Read the full discussion on r/CasualConversation, and find more conversations like this in r/sleep, r/productivity, and r/DecidingToBeBetter.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

When you spend your career building the very tools that automate away jobs, the irony of becoming obsolete yourself is hard to ignore. One veteran automation expert in r/careerguidance recently hit this exact wall, wondering if decades of hard-earned institutional knowledge are about to be replaced by younger colleagues who simply know how to talk to a chatbot. Here is what they shared:

I’ve spent two decades automating systems. I’m the guy who builds the tools that displace people. But lately, I’m looking at my own colleagues, people with incredible judgment, deep institutional knowledge, and real human empathy, and I see them being told to 'just learn AI' as if their entire career was just a collection of tasks.

It feels like we're being told our wisdom doesn't matter if we can't write a prompt.

Am I the only one seeing this? How are you actually handling the feeling that the ground is shifting under 20 years of work?

In the comments, redditors deliver a mix of reassurance, shared anxiety, and practical reality checks.

Experience over algorithms

A big camp of redditors believe that deep industry knowledge is exactly what makes veteran workers irreplaceable. To them, understanding the fundamental reasons behind a task is far more important than just efficiently executing operations.

Comment in r/careerguidance

Idk I feel more confident that people with 10+ years of exp will probably be okay. It's the entry level people who are getting royally screwed. Once you have experience, you have knowledge of why we do things. The younger entry level people are just given tasks to perform and expected to learn the why as you progress. AI is getting very good at doing tasks that entry level people used to start out their careers doing but it isn't good at all at understanding why things are done or making decisions based on that information.

Comment in r/careerguidance

The whole "just learn AI" thing really misses what makes someone valuable after 20 years though. Your institutional knowledge and ability to spot when something's going sideways isn't something you can just replace with prompt engineering

I get the efficiency angle but there's something unsettling about reducing decades of expertise down to babysitting algorithms

Comment in r/careerguidance

AI is only currently powerful and useful in the hands of subject matter experts. so your experience is still valuable. it’s just like th introduction of the internet you have more tools to do things faster 

The illusion of immediate replacement

Tech-savvy redditors are quick to point out that artificial intelligence isn't as foolproof as corporate leadership might think. They argue that rushing to replace human oversight is a recipe for expensive, unforced errors.

Comment in r/careerguidance

AI is not as intelligent as people are making it out to be, it requires very specific prompts in order to understand what you want and even then you should spot check the work. It should be something you can utilize to be more efficient and save time, not replace you. I truly believe any company that is replacing workers with AI and no adequate oversight is just in for a lot of mistakes and errors.

Comment in r/careerguidance

I know this isn't the point. But as an AI engineer who understands what's going on under the hood, I think corporations are placing way too much trust in AI way too fast.

Comment in r/careerguidance

Oh they absolutely are.

At my last sysadmin job I got told to run all emails through Copilot and send them out because my 'tone' wasn't appropriate; too 'casual'.

I did.

Without editing it or checking it for accuracy.

The boss that ordered me to do it ordered me to stop by the end of the day because it was sending so much inaccurate garbage even when I'd given it the correct information and just prompted it to "make this sound more professional". It would just randomly change information with no rhyme or reason.

Comment in r/careerguidance

I'm seeing this with junior developers. They can suddenly make much better code and do things they had no idea how to do last year. BUT, they have no idea if it's correct. They're really embracing AI development and upper management is impressed with their productivity. The repercussions lag behind the questionable development so there's not a clear cause-effect. 

On one hand it's great that they're embracing what is likely the future of development, but we really need a way for the to gain experience. 

I truly believe we're going to see a crash in 1-2 years of software from vibe coded start ups and companies that overly embraced the intoxicating speed of AI development. This stuff is going to become so buggy that it needs to be rebuilt. And I say this as someone who actually thinks AI software can be good when done right.

Comment in r/careerguidance

It really doesn’t require prompts that are super specific to that degree, but it definitely requires a human to double check the outputs. Totally agree that anyone who directly replaces humans with it is asking for failure. 

The reality of increasing efficiency

Despite the healthy skepticism, many acknowledge that the tools are getting undeniably good at speeding up daily workflows. Rather than widespread job destruction, they see a rapidly shrinking need for large teams to accomplish the same amount of work.

Comment in r/careerguidance

I'm a software developer. Have been for 20 years. I just⅙ started using an ai to write code. It requires a detailed prompt that only a developer could write. The process was still iterative because the prompt had to be refined. I still saved quite a bit of time on the coding. The testing takes the same amount of time.

I think experience isn't a liability but designing and writing code is the most time consuming part of development so developers will become more efficient which means there will be fewer of us.

Comment in r/careerguidance

I work in software, and it is a little unsettling how good AI is becoming. Most of the people I know who are also worried work in software and actually use the tools, they can see what we will be up against.

I still need to proof the work but it’s genuinely made me 100% more efficient, mainly the busy work and minor alterations, but to the point my boss asked if I had an assistant.

People shouting AI isn’t a threat are delusional, and it will only get more efficient/intelligent as time marches on.

No one can predict the timeline, but there will absolutely be a mass exodus due to AI.

Comment in r/careerguidance

My coaching business is 75% relaxed by aI so I am freed up to do something new… now I am leveraging AI to create a startup that I actually think may help people find more meaningful and impactful work.

I am excited about this but also already feel that in a year even if my business is wildly successful, it might somehow be replaced by AI- tools. Very wild times right now. Not sure how to feel. But love that this post is getting so may of us to share thoughts.

A blue-collar buffer

For those outside the digital realm, the anxiety takes a slightly different shape. While they don't fear a chatbot taking over physical labor anytime soon, they do worry about what happens downstream as the broader economy adapts.

Comment in r/careerguidance

AI isn't going to be physically terminating wires anytime soon. So I'm good.

But poor OP says they spent 20 years putting people out of work through technology, and now technology might put them out of work.

Comment in r/careerguidance

I work a blue collar job. Even if AI robots were out tomorrow, my job would be safe for at least the duration of my professional life.

What I worry about more than AI taking my job is AI taking everyone else’s job, and everyone else retraining to do my job, and then the value of my experience being watered down to nothing.

Comment in r/careerguidance

Also, the trades rely on people being able to pay for those services, and if a lot of people aren’t making money, they can’t afford repairs or upgrades to their home, so what are those tradespeople going to do when no one can afford their services?

Comment in r/careerguidance

Not for my sled, but I do worry about everyone else. Europe is going to be in a better position to integrate AIs than the US.

I worry we will basically lose the middle class, and left with the lower middle class, and the upper class. Really it will probably feel like the 1970s again. I am not sure the US can adapt.

The conversation shows that while artificial intelligence is reshaping the daily grind, it isn't automatically going to erase the value of genuine experience. The real challenge might just be convincing executives that a shiny new tool cannot replace human judgment.

What do you think you would do in this evolving landscape? Read the full discussion in r/careerguidance, and find more conversations like this in r/sysadmin, r/technology, and r/jobs.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.

Navigating adult social schedules is tough enough without the exasperation of having to engage with surprise tagalong friends. No matter what the event or hangout, blending friend groups can be a total disaster — especially if the introduction is sprung on people. One poster in r/unpopularopinion expressed frustration about unapproved plus-ones in this thread:

I've been seeing this more and more recently where a group of friends make a plan then someone (or multiple people) starts inviting their other friends last minute that nobody knows.

They'll justify this by saying that we’re older we don’t have a lot of time to see people so they try to see everybody at once.

I get that but you also have to respect my time. We made this gathering with these specific people because we know our vibe matches, we have a good time, etc… It’s just weird to have outside people not understanding the dynamic.

If you like to expand your friend group or bring someone, that’s totally fine. Give advance notice and ask the group, don’t just show up with them

In the comments, redditors swap stories of hijacked plans and drained social batteries due to having to include surprise buddies.

The frustration of hijacked hangouts

Some redditors share stories of well-intentioned gatherings totally derailed by unexpected guests.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

It's really aggravating for things like okay, we've all got a specific number of tickets for this or we're all going to do that and then your friends like oh by the way I brought a bunch of randos. Like I was going to the renfair with some of my friends, everyone had their tickets, we were good to go, and then this guy brings this horrible girl. Would not interact with anyone, did not have a ticket and insisted everyone wait in the long line with her, didn't really know how to act, whined the whole time etc

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I have one friend who invited me to play cards (we had been playing many times before, I knew most of her closest friends etc.). When we showed up - 15 random people I had never seen in my life (so really she just mixed all of her friend groups together). The vibe was absolutely off, so we tried to play a board game but quickly left.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I have a friend who invited someone to our activity, then tried to cancel on us while keeping that person invited.

It all depends on the activity

Others point out that context is everything. While rolling deep to a casual public event might be acceptable, attempting to squeeze extra people into a private setting crosses a line.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

It heavily depends on the activity for me. Skiing, backpacking, camping, etc. definitely ask and it also depends on the objective and crew. Or if you want to bring new friends to a house party always ask the host.

Something like a concert or bars or hanging out at the park? Nah, the more the merrier. This is how you make new friends and making new friends (or a fling, significant other, etc) is great.

I’ve met so many of my friends and most girls I dated through mutual friends and have a large friend group in my 30s (not as crazy as it was in my 20s- we’d have parties with like 80-100 friends). I’ve got my adventures friends, my concert friends, etc and a bunch of different friend groups I hang with. It’s fun bringing them all together

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

This depends on the group, and the activity/outing.

I don't want a bunch of randoms at my house, nor do I want a bunch of people I don't know showing up to my birthday dinner. A dinner party, or something where you would have to account for the number of people ahead of time? Don't bring a bunch of guests.

But if I'm just meeting some friends at the bar, and they bring a couple of their own friends, I don't really care about that. Unless they're completely obnoxious. I once did a Paint and Sip with some friends, a couple people invited a friend the rest of the group didn't know, and they paid for their own spot - I'm all good with stuff like that.

I think a general rule to go by is, if you're invited to something, you should ask before bringing other people.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I’m a serious cook. When I host a dinner party, I invite the same number of guests as I have dining room chairs, and I plate the meals before serving for maximum visual appeal.

Bringing an “extra” rarely happens, but when it does, we do our best to accommodate the surprise guest with a folding chair and a corner seat at the table… for the person who brought the extra.

The mental toll of socializing

For many commenters, the primary issue is the mental exhaustion of unexpected socializing with someone new when they had expected a relaxed and familiar environment.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I would say that I don’t go to about 80% of my friend’s social functions because of this exact reason.

Just the “us” group is 10+ people then you throw i. The 4-5 random people who get the invite and my social battery gets drained within an hour.

Im not driving 50 minutes round-trip to want to go home by the time I say hi to everyone.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

It depends on the age though. I’m almost 40, and if I’m taking time away from my kids to go see friends, I don’t always want to hang out with randoms or spend the evening getting to know new people that I probably won’t see again.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Disagree. I'm at an age where I don't want to make 10 new friends every day. I don't have time to maintain that many friendships, so I have 4 or 5 really close friends I hang with regularly.

It drives me crazy when I'm supposed to hang out with someone, and they go "Oh, by the way, I invited 5 people from work" and then I'm like "Ugh, now instead of catching up and talking about life with a close friend, this hangout is going to be two hours of small talk with people I don't have anything in common with.

In these situations, it's far better to ask for permission than forgiveness

Ultimately, these kinds of conflicts can be avoided by simply asking permission first. A quick check-in before expanding the guest list ensures everybody arrives with matching expectations.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

I usually just ask people when the plans are made. Is this an us thing or is this an open to everyone thing? Communication solves so many issues.

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Seriously, half the issues that occur between people can be solved by simply communicating and being honest

Comment in r/unpopularopinion

Depends what you’re doing, but thankfully our friends ask if we mind first and we do the same.

Finding time to maintain friendships in adulthood is challenging, but hijacking established plans is rarely the best solution.

Do you tell your friends if you're bringing an "outsider" to the group hang? Read the full story in r/unpopularopinion, and find more conversations like this in r/relationships, r/TrueOffMyChest, and r/socialskills.

This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.