Craig Mazin

@Mr_Eaton @johnaugust After explaining in action what I was doing, I'd put in parens with the character name. JACOB (18:42:12)

@erictomscomedy Better to watch movies and look for great opening scenes. Study them. Think about how much info they impart.

@susanlbridges @Bambookiller @josswhedon @johnaugust @LoreneScafaria I'd say "accurate."

@Nickrob I am never physically violent. But in all seriousness, it would be nice if you left me alone.

@antonsays @MissMarcel @Nickrob Apparently it's a thing I don't do that a guy thinks I do and it's super duper bad. Like, the worst.

Hmmm @MissMarcel I think our nutso stalker made a movie about himself. We should screen together.

Landed in Heathrow. Son walked off airplane, then promptly puked. Waiting for next plane so he can puke in Austria.

@Nickrob @MissMarcel @FilmCritHULK In all seriousness I do not know you, we have never met. If you upset @MissMarcel I will lose my shit.

@MissMarcel @Nickrob @hell_homer Sir, I don't know you. I don't name search. Have we met? Or is this just mental illness?

@jonboyer @johnaugust Thank you for the lovely words, Jon.

@notthatjohnking @driverminnie I refuse to drink anything green. Wasn't me. #thistime

@davidkwong @writenett @johnaugust @JRichardKelly @MissMarcel Yeah, I have my own magic trick called rohypnol.

@MissMarcel @NeedsABoss @writenett She SEEMS cute. But it's really just hair and makeup. No one knows what she actually looks like.

@davidkwong @writenett @johnaugust @JRichardKelly @MissMarcel Nothing. I made you breakfast. Do more magic.

@MissMarcel @writenett @davidkwong @johnaugust @abmck @JRichardKelly I think she just did. Heard a door slam. And my credit cards are gone.

To whomever is running the Truman Show of my life-- I'm never going to believe "Duck Dynasty" is real. Try harder.

@michaelgilvary Sometimes when I think about you, I root for the clot.

@michaelgilvary You've incorrectly added a comma before the dependent clause "and then go fuck themselves."

@writenett @davidkwong @johnaugust @abmck @JRichardKelly @MissMarcel nah. I just want Kwong. Everyone else can leave now. Thank you.

@Perryesp @XFINITY_TV @IdentityThief Ha! Do we get an Exxy?