User talk:EEng

> > > This used to be "the only man-made talk page that can be seen from space." < < <

But there are no signs of intelligent life, and that hasn't changed.

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this user asks you to take precautions: 1. Maintain social distancing by starting new posts in new sections, to avoid contaminating other users. 2. Follow the one-way system by putting new posts at the bottom. 3. Sign your comments to facilitate contact tracing.

Satellite image of a section of the Great Wall of China, running diagonally from lower left to upper right and not to be confused with the more prominent talkpage running from upper left to lower right. The shadow at the upper left indicates "You are here." Talkpage archives are not visible.

Wikipedia Must Be The Saddest Place on Earth

I have had EEng's talk and userpage on my Watchlist for two months because they are the most fun places on Wikipedia.

— Softlavender

FDA Warning: Pagescrolling-related unilateral musculoskeletal asymmetry

My friend told me that the best way to get a man would be to impress him with my ability to crush a can so forcefully that the contents shoot out, fly up in the air and land in my mouth, so every morning I do yoga, swim and then come here for 40 mins scrolling to the bottom of EEng's talk page; my right forearm looks like Popeye's now and it's done wonders for my love life.

— Belle

Sections were archived,
one by one, like tears falling,
but saved forever. – Levivich

(a/o February 2, 2016: 131 stalkers, 81/89 "active" )

a. Stalkers caught on camera; b. Why was the gardener unhappy?

Wikipedians with red lynx cats on their user page

And now, without further ado .. Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you ... EEng's talk page!

ANI notice

EEng and Tryptofish running from the pod people
Viriditas (who posted the image): I'm the good-looking one. --Tryptofish

There is currently a discussion at Wikipedia:Administrators' noticeboard/Incidents regarding an issue with which you may have been involved. ᴢxᴄᴠʙɴᴍ (ᴛ) 00:27, 3 May 2026 (UTC)

Wikipedians hate fun, more at 11. LilianaUwU ^{(talk / contributions)} 18:55, 3 May 2026 (UTC)

What's that Bradbury story about the butterfly getting crushed underfoot? This page is like that – yet prey pray tell who could've predicted this from that (or that from this)? Cheers, Cl3phact0 (talk) 21:02, 3 May 2026 (UTC)

The part that astonishes me is that some people have software that is incapable of dealing with an amount of text that would easily fit on a 1984-era floppy disk. Their misdirected anger at the existence of pages that show how bad their software is would be better directed at its programmers. —David Eppstein (talk) 21:23, 3 May 2026 (UTC)

My favorite complaint was someone said that it was an issue due to working on metered connections 🙄. Dr vulpes (Talk) 21:25, 3 May 2026 (UTC)

What's that? on YouTube -- Cl3phact0 (talk) 21:38, 3 May 2026 (UTC)

I have a much less powerful system than Rambling Rambler or Insanityclown1 but it didn't take any longer than 10 or 12 seconds to load this page before it was gutted, and it never crashed. Even if it had taken a minute or two that time would have been spent on thinking about what I was going to write, and I have a longer attention span than a gnat. Phil Bridger (talk) 22:13, 3 May 2026 (UTC)

Well, if it crashes, I suppose that's a good test of your equipment/software/connection. But, as we all know; thinking is dangerous and currently out of fashion, O3000, Ret. (talk) 23:21, 3 May 2026 (UTC)

The problem is editing on mobile. I have a relatively high end phone, and it took somewhere around 45 seconds to load the page, a wait I find unacceptable. I do also recall it taking much longer to leave discussiontools replies on posts.

I was okay putting up with it, for the record. But others might not be. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 03:23, 4 May 2026 (UTC)

Have you worked out how long it would have taken you to do the equivalent 40 years ago, before the world-wide web had been invented (and when telephones were reliable)? Phil Bridger (talk) 21:58, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

I'm genuinely wondering what kids born today will be complaining about future systems, in the year 2050, to the then mid-aged gen-Zs, probably in the future version of Wikipedia.

Few ideas

"Back in our days we navigate the system via a keyboard. Like, with our hands."

"Dear, we once have to learn to use search engines because Google can't do natural language processing 40 years ago."

"Videogames used to take hours to load and run on suitcase-sized machines, and refresh rates beyond 90Hz were once considered high."

"You devs have it easy these days. We used to do shader precomilation and prebake texture maps and worry about cache locality and multithreading and memory management and have to manually define async compute. Artists once have to compress entire game's scenes to fit inside LCD displays' 400 nits of brightness."

"Early smartphones are so terrible we have to tweak linux kernel params ourselves before schedutil was a thing."

"What do you mean by molecule-traced fluid dynamics and physically accurate volumetric lighting? It's a game and it's supposed to provide a temporary escape away from reality."

海盐沙冰 _{/ aka irisChronomia / Talk} 14:23, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

HALE MAAW? Do the underlined parts mean something? ~2026-18394-94 (talk) 02:37, 27 May 2026 (UTC)

Some browser extentions like DarkReader slow down the visual editor; these issues are more pronounced for pages like Milky Way that weigh in at 0.2MB, and is initially an issue for unsuspecting noob editors like me before I learned to edit in source and/or turn off my extentions.

Another caveat is that the iOS app for Wikipedia seems to always load the entire talk page, and freezes for tens of seconds when opening e.g., Talk:X (social network) (0.3MB). (One reason to use the iOS app is for the powersaving compared to e.g., rendering HTML5s in safari). 海盐沙冰 _{/ aka irisChronomia / Talk} 04:57, 4 May 2026 (UTC)

That being said, I find it really, really, really absurd to bring such a technical issue to the ANI. Bug reports please. 海盐沙冰 _{/ aka irisChronomia / Talk} 04:59, 4 May 2026 (UTC)

Because browsers need to parse the HTML and CSS of a page first before displaying it. 1MB is just the wikitext's size of a page; the HTML size is way bigger than that, e.g. for this revision, it's 5MB (which is a lot of HTML to parse).-- sapphaline (talk) 19:43, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

5Mb is not a lot of data for a computer. —David Eppstein (talk) 21:34, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

It is a lot for HTML specifically. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 22:02, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

After the bottom falls out of the world computer industry, the world computer industry comes after EEng with a chainsaw. --Tfish

• I'm gutted. And I'd entirely missed the AN/I (learned about it at WO), partly because apparently my graphics card is dying, so right now I'm peering at the text in this section through skeins and squares of coloured artefacts. This slows down my reading. Meanwhile people who prefer to use their cutting-edge pocket doodads got the MIT quiz and all the rest of our fun deleted. Phooey, I say. Yngvadottir (talk) 04:42, 4 May 2026 (UTC)

Snap, crackle, and pop the AI bubble!
--Me again

Another Wikipedia editor with a short page –DE

• This page is now too short, my Intel Core i9-10900K and 64GB of DDR4 is just sitting there unused right now and this greatly disappoints me, as the entire reason I bought this beast of a machine was to have this userpage loading quickly. What a terrible investment I've made. —Locke Cole • t • c • b 18:49, 4 May 2026 (UTC)

  Can't win for losing. EEng 02:38, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

  Hey, remember that thread that one fellow made giving you a warning that "Your talk page is becoming short" as a gag? I think that may have accidentally been a precognition, with the ambiguity of the present tense versus future tense. Apollo's curse. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 08:16, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

  Or Christopher Walken's curse? EEng 10:15, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

  Welp, I guess that's one less wiki page out there to justify the purchase of my new 4K Ultra HD 27" monitor :( . — AP 499D25 (talk) 10:29, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

  Apparently that one stupid ANI thread is causing the bottom to fall out of the world computer industry. EEng 11:14, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

  Well, at least you know you've done some good. Phil Bridger (talk) 14:38, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

  RAM still ain't getting cheaper, but maybe now that it won't be hoarded for reading EEng's talk page, it might drop by one dollar. TheClocksAlwaysTurn (The Clockworks) (contribs) 15:01, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

  Could this pop the AI bubble? MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 20:41, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

  Maybe it's not all doom and gloom after all, because yesterday I just snagged an RX 9070 XT graphics card from a local retailer at a pretty big discount. Thanks Wikipedia community for bringing GPU prices down! — AP 499D25 (talk) 10:36, 6 May 2026 (UTC)

Left: Wikipedia editor EEng removes painfully obvious information from the article on Pick-up sticks.

Right: The global economy collapses.

--MenK

How Wikipedia editors are taught
--Tryp

• One must always keep everything in perspective and concentrate on what is currently important to the human population (that is invading this beautiful planet). The back cover of the 1969 Jefferson Airplane album quoted Jorma Kaukonen: Let me answer that question by posing another -- Why don't the Pentacles keep their evil spirits away? O3000, Ret. (talk) 22:13, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

If you have problems with your pentacles, see a manicurist. --Tryptofish (talk) 22:16, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

I gilded pentacles on my fingernails in gold leaf. Was expensive at first. But now my manicures are all free. O3000, Ret. (talk) 22:41, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

How did I get all the way down here so quick? It used to wear out my scrolling finger.  Mr.choppers | ✎  23:41, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

Um... there's a persistent skip-to-bottom button at the lower right of screen. If only you'd known. EEng 23:46, 5 May 2026 (UTC)

The large print giveth and the small print taketh away. -- Cl3phact0 (talk) 06:11, 6 May 2026 (UTC)

I swear the "home" and "end" keys on a keyboard are as little known about as the turn signal stalk on a BMW... — AP 499D25 (talk) 11:11, 6 May 2026 (UTC)

Oh my god. You're telling me I can take the #skip-to-bottom-anchor out of my Teahouse and help desk convenience links???

...is a question for which the answer is "no", due to the fact that a phone doesn't have an end key. And neither does the mobile view render any skip to bottom buttons. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 17:43, 6 May 2026 (UTC)

On iPhones I've noticed that tapping the very top or bottom edges of the screen has the same effect as home and end keys respectively, although I find it much more annoying than actually useful as I do it on accident almost all the time. — AP 499D25 (talk) 06:50, 7 May 2026 (UTC)

I demand the mapping of PgUp/Dn and Home/End mapping to fn+arrow keys as part of the ANSI keyboard layout standard. 海盐沙冰 _{/ aka irisChronomia / Talk} 12:52, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

But then I miss so many possible rabbitholes and sidetracks.  Mr.choppers | ✎  15:45, 10 May 2026 (UTC)

Now, goddammit, this talk section is getting too effing long! I demand that someone start a new talk section! Off with his head! Off with his head! I'm... I'm... sorry, I forgot to take my meds. --Tryptofish (talk) 20:09, 6 May 2026 (UTC)

Off with whose head? Eeng's? Also why should God damn this page? Actually, which section of hell do damned talk pages go to? Also, which God are you asking to damn this page? Fun Chaos (talk) 22:03, 6 May 2026 (UTC)

I'll refrain from deifying Jimbo, but damned talk pages clearly go to WP:CESSPIT, which is one of the nastiest circles of hell. (And don't get me started on the demons who make a habit of hanging out there!) --Tryptofish (talk) 23:08, 6 May 2026 (UTC)

Oof, I am a demon? I commonly hang around the dramaboards for entertaining reading. Also, is not this Talk Page already there? That was what this topic was about originally, right? So is it already damned? So how could it get damned again? Or was this post having weird retroactive changes and a paradox? Where you got this page damned, and thus eventually made that comment? Fun Chaos (talk) 23:21, 6 May 2026 (UTC)

If you get two doctors together, you get a pairadox. But don't dox anyone. --Tryptofish (talk) 23:28, 6 May 2026 (UTC)

Should it not be a pair a' docs? In some accent? What accent is it? Also why should I not dox people? As far as I know I can read whatever poetry I want to towards people. Freedom of speech.

Also, what makes two doctors separate from two documents, they are both pairs a' docs. Fun Chaos (talk) 23:50, 6 May 2026 (UTC)

We have taught you well, young apprentice. --Tryptofish (talk) 00:02, 7 May 2026 (UTC)

I am very stressed at this exact moment, though not due to any factions of editors at Wikipedia or actions of editors from Wikipedia, so even if I am taught, it is through no fault of your own but purely mine. Fun Chaos (talk) 00:29, 7 May 2026 (UTC)

For those whom have been distraught about this talk page now being too short: This section is around 15K bytes in size, and at around 360 bytes per comment on average over the ~42 comments in this thread, we only need about 2,740 more comments to reach the exotic one million bytes in size. So, what are we waiting for? - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 02:35, 7 May 2026 (UTC)

Fun fact: there are 272 unique ways this comment could show up: 2 for who and whom times 4 for complaining/distraught ect. times 17 for each unique descriptor of 1 million bytes times 2 for the strike out status of the last sentence. (Yes I counted, I also probably miscounted. Feel free to check my work. Or y'know, don't, you probably have a lot better to be doing with your time). GrayStorm^{(Talk to me|My Contribs.)} 03:02, 7 May 2026 (UTC)

I am still a little sick, so while I'd love to be writing/copy-editing articles, I don't think my condition is quite good enough, so I decided to make this copy-and-pasted comment with the {{random item}} template, not really caring about the total number of possible combinations. (However, I was mostly focused on whether or not the one-million bytes text could show up as that CS1 error more than anything else, really.) Although, I was absolutely not expecting somebody to do the math on the total number of combinations, honestly, so props to you! (Despite the fact that your comment plunged me into the apocalyptic depths of edit conflicts.) - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 03:21, 7 May 2026 (UTC)

This comment has at least 385 () different variations. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 21:43, 7 May 2026 (UTC)

I honestly never knew that the {{random number}} template existed, even though it has 5,600+ tranclusions, and seems to be a high search result for "Template:Random". Although, in my opinion, having a comment that uses it for randomness doesn't produce the same effect has having parts of a comment use the {{random item}} template. - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 22:04, 7 May 2026 (UTC)

Not sure where you got 7,000 from; I see ~5,600. ~4,600 of those transclusions seem to come from {{WikiProject Hampshire}}, and ~600 more come from (I suspect) various usersbox. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 22:26, 7 May 2026 (UTC)

 Self-trout ..I think I somehow misread "5,600" as "7,000". Completely my fault. - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 22:43, 7 May 2026 (UTC)

If you are wondering, I counted 15 unique descriptors for the one-million-bytes text; maybe you accidentally counted two of them twice? - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 03:42, 7 May 2026 (UTC)

Finally archived

I looked through the page history and... a million bytes? That recent ANI thread must have done something to motivate you so editors can communicate. But, if I remember correctly, /Archive 14 would now be a mess... (on second thought, the syntax highliter in the source editor contained an /Archive 15 when typing up the link to /Archive 14. Maybe I was wrong. ~2026-28007-74 (talk) 12:03, 9 May 2026 (UTC) (talk) 12:03, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

@~2026-28007-74, did you mean to leave a huge amount of broken syntax in your comment? - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 12:09, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

Only ~1570 bytes? But doing more would cause more harm.... ~2026-28007-74 (talk) 12:05, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

And /Archive 15 does exist to prevent the same problem from occurring to the 14th. Very helpful if you want to read /Archive 14 ~2026-28007-74 (talk) 12:06, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

LMAO

I must be getting soft in the head: I didn't for a second appreciate how I was setting myself up there... SnowRise ^{let's rap} 05:14, 7 May 2026 (UTC)

WP:INVOLVED admin drops in to give orders

Re the AfD discussion for MV Hondius. Stop badgering those with a different opinion to you. I respect your right to nominate the article for deletion. I hold nothing against you for doing so. Commenting on each and every opponent's post is a form of bullying. It stops now! Mjroots (talk) 04:36, 8 May 2026 (UTC)

For those playing along at home, this concerns Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/MV Hondius

• When an AfD participant votes "It's important", and I link to WP:ITSIMPORTANT, that's not bullying.
• When an AfD participant votes "The article gives interesting information", and I link to WP:ITSIMPORTANT, that's not bullying.
• When an AfD participant votes "Keep, big enough to be notable", and I respond that "Bigness isn't a notability criterion", that's not bullying.

On the other hand, when an admin comes to my talk page to intone It stops now!, that sounds perilously close to a command or instruction from you to me, which you are in no position to make, and is something which I might quite reasonably suggest is bullying, if I were the type given to whining about bullying. I suggest you spend your time finding reliable, independent sources.

The AfD is infested with fanboys who don't know what notability means -- one participant claims that the following constitutes significant coverage: Local media report that the Dutch cruise ship *Hondius*, hailing from Vlissingen, also diverted its course. The ship was en route to Argentina but was notified of the accident by Chilean authorities and asked to assist in the search. The crew and passengers did indeed spend several hours doing so. Instead of giving me grief about telling these benighted people to read up on policies and guidelines, you should be showing leadership as an admin by telling them the same thing. EEng 16:25, 8 May 2026 (UTC) P.S. And now someone's comparing this ship to the Titanic . Gotta love it. EEng 17:08, 8 May 2026 (UTC)

Mjroots is an involved admin, having commented in the AfD and disagreed with you, and the warning here is a bit shouty for my tastes.

EEng, in light of recent events, I advise you to be like Caesar's wife (minus any GENSEX connotations that my inelegant reference might suggest). You are right. There is cheese. Better not to reply to many of the AfD fanboys. A trick I have learned, that avoids the dreaded badger cry, is to post a single follow-up comment in AfDs, not posted in reply to anyone in particular, in which I seek to further explain my thinking (or that's what I say), and I use that opportunity to point out the fallacies of all the fallacious inputs, without appearing to address the comment to any particular fanboy. --Tryptofish (talk) 20:42, 8 May 2026 (UTC)

Sgt. PEPPER and colleagues with a big honkin' boat. --Sgt. Tryp

Ahh, WP:PEPPER. Great essay. No need to be cagey about your true intentions if you do that, it works because it's courteous to put text in one spot on the screen instead of more text spread all over the screen.

Yes, I would like to say, EEng, the reason you have someone here accusing you of badgering is because you've been badgering. The closer of the AfD will be able to read. They will see the first time you asked "what sources?".

EEng, I would especially like you to notice that this is an AfD concerning a question of significant coverage of a cruise ship. It's a cruise ship. A big honkin' boat which sees tons of tourists every year. I haven't looked into the matter much myself, but my intuition would tell that more likely than not, it is going to have significant coverage. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 21:25, 8 May 2026 (UTC)

Your intuition has led you astray. The MV Hantavirus carries a maximum of 170 passengers, making it somewhere between 1/45 and 1/10 the size of the "big honkin' boats" I'm pretty sure you're thinking of.

A good way to expiate your sin of forcing me to get out my calculator and divide would be for you to review the sources cited in MV Hondius, and then file your !vote at Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/MV_Hondius.

Meanwhile, here's the latest entry in the catalog of !votes by people who don't know (in this case literally, I'd say) which way is up: KEEP, The MV Hondius is not a notable ship. EEng 03:04, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

You'd actually managed to catch me in the middle of looking into it myself and coming to that exact conclusion, haha!

You'll have to forgive me, though, because I think I'm out of bounds for WP:CANVASS at this point. Especially now that you've literally asked me to file a !vote. It's just as well, I ought to try to conserve my mental energy for finals.

My recommendation is to make a new post on the AfD where you try apologizing for the peppering, and present the counterargument you just wrote, plus a more thorough rebuttal of some of the sources provided. And also, calculate the roots of the polynomial $x^{2}-13x+42$. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 03:55, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

You're way, WAY overreading CANVASS. I have no idea how you'll !vote. For all I know you'll make a brilliant keep argument, and I'll be convinced to change my own !vote. On top of which, you said you were already looking into; you don't have to abort doing that just because I suggested that you do what you were already doing. EEng 15:53, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

No, I probably wasn't going to participate anyways. I was just curious. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 05:03, 10 May 2026 (UTC)

and also calculate the roots of the polynomial x² - 13x + 42 funnily enough, I too, have the misfortune of being in an algebra class that is doing basically the same type of stuff. (More specifically, everything about quadratics.)

At first I was thinking I'd need some number who's square is negative, but then I realised that I misread the equation as "x² + 13x + 42", so then I solved for x=0 and found the first root, but after that I kinda gave up.

So, I went on Wolfram|Alpha and plugged in the equation, and the roots apparently are x=6, and x=7.

Just curious: is this a random equation you found, or one you created? - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 04:19, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

Created! It's easy enough to do so, just had to FOIL out $(x-6)(x-7)$. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 04:22, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

Ohhhh, okay, I figured since those specific numbers seemed eerily artificial; small chance of both of them naturally occurring in a random problem. Random unimportant question: How is your algebra class? I have probably one of the worst ones in my city, and coupled with the fact that I seldom have time at home outside of week days, I am failing the class, luckily not by much, though. - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 04:41, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

Haha, I got an affinity for basic algebra really early on, through DragonBox. I don't remember my algebra class very well, but I reckon I probably soared through it easily. I'm far past algebra now, though. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 05:00, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

Good for you! I wonder how math prodigies would fare in a classroom where the chatter of students occasionally gets loud enough to shatter glass.^[Hyperbole] - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 05:18, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

Nah, that's not anywhere near canvassing. You showed up here, EEng didn't ping you or post to your page. Valereee (talk) 19:16, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

I meant, I only saw the post because I have EEng's talk page on my watchlist. Maybe WP:CANVASS wasn't the right thing to link; I just don't want to give the impression that I'm only participating because it's EEng (which, honestly, would be kinda true). Especially not when it's a discussion that already has a {{notavote}} notice on it.

Maybe I'm overthinking things, but my point about just kinda not wanting to do it still stands. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 19:26, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

IMO? Yes, you're overthinking things. :D It doesn't matter that you have a certain editor's page on your watch. For one thing, no one could really keep up with EEng's talk, so it's basically random whether you saw it here. But totally fine if you don't want to participate at the AfD. Which I just !voted at, after stumbling across it here. The arguments there are absurd. I wish we could just require no event can be covered until 30 days after it occurs. Valereee (talk) 19:33, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

There's a joke somewhere around here relating my invoking of WP:CANVASS to the Canvas outage. I can't seem to find it, though. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 19:48, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

Dorothy, we're not in canvass any more. --Tryptofish (talk) 19:52, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

Hello, I noticed one of your recent messages directed towards another user regarding an articles for deletion, and it appears that you may have breached our canvas guidelines. Although constructive hacking is allowed on Wikipedia, inserting JavaScript code in a comment that makes other users get locked out of their account until they pay a ransom can be harmful for the encyclopedia. As such, your code has been overturned. Thank you for your understanding! - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 20:29, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

KEEP, The MV Hondius is not a notable ship I may never recover from that one. —Myceteae‍🍄‍🟫 (talk) 20:45, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

At first when I saw this, I read it as KEEP, The MV Hondius is a notable ship, completely skipping over the "not", so when I came back and realized I read it wrong, I literally physically facepalmed.

It seems I too, won't ever recover from this delirious vote either. - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 22:33, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

BLOCK him. EEng is a valued editor. Similar logic, come to think of it. --Tryptofish (talk) 23:21, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

Mine was the opposite turn of events. I thought surely I'd misread it. I re-read it several times. All I could do was marvel at it. —Myceteae‍🍄‍🟫 (talk) 00:28, 10 May 2026 (UTC)

Notes

New Page Patrol Newsletter - May 2026

Hello EEng,

New Page Review queue November 2025 - May 2026

Backlog update

At the time of this message, there are 15,282 articles and 32,951 redirects awaiting review.

After the January–February drive the article backlog was reduced to 15,179 articles and the redirect backlog to 19,053 respectively. Great job! However, both queues are growing rapidly and any additional reviews are highly appreciated.

2024 and 2025 NPP Awards

JTtheOG was selected as the NPP reviewer of the year for both 2024 and 2025, for reviewing the most articles amongst all reviewers.

Hey man im josh and MPGuy2824 won the Redirect Ninja Master Award for 2024 and 2025 respectively, for reviewing the most redirects.

Overall in 2024, one Platinum, two Gold, eight Silver, 12 Bronze and 45 Iron Barnstars were awarded. Additionally, 66 reviewers got the NPP barnstar for doing more than 100 reviews through the year. In 2025, one Platinum, ten Silver, 13 Bronze and 38 Iron Barnstars were awarded. Additionally, 38 reviewers got the NPP barnstar for doing more than 100 reviews through the year.

BoyTheKingCanDance, Rosiestep, SunDawn, and Vanderwaalforces were inducted into the NPP Hall of Fame for having two separate years of 2,000+ article reviews.

January–February backlog drive

The experimental two-month long backlog drive concluded with 183 reviewers patrolling over 27,761 articles and 35,309 redirects, earning over 36,836 points. Congratulations to JTtheOG, who achieved first place with 6,484.6 points in this drive.

May backlog drive

An article-only backlog drive is currently underway. We are hoping to make a big dent in the backlog. You can read more about it or join at Wikipedia:New pages patrol/Backlog drives/May 2026.

PageTriage

An attempt was made to get the New Pages Feed to sort by date marked as reviewed instead of date created. However we had to revert it due to bugs. We may try again in the future. You can subscribe to the Phabricator ticket if you're interested in following along.

Reminders:

• You can access live chat with patrollers on the New Page Patrol Discord.
• Consider adding the project discussion page to your watchlist.
• To opt out of future mailings, please remove yourself here.

MediaWiki message delivery (talk) 23:37, 14 May 2026 (UTC)

Notice of AfD discussion

Frivolous message from IP collapsed by 海盐沙冰 _{/ aka irisChronomia / Talk} 06:01, 15 May 2026 (UTC)

Hello, EEng, i noticed that you improperly made a AfD nomination.

First of all, WP:NOTINHERITED is part of an essay, and essays are not meant to be typically followed. Second, the article satisfys Verifiability, Notability,and many other MoS guidelines. And third, the AfD nomination may constitute disruption. When nominating an article for deletion, @EEng, please do it properly,not just blindly following essays or using AfD discussions to merge articles. ~2026-29308-25 (talk) 03:33, 15 May 2026 (UTC)

You're lecturing EEng on how to properly start an AfD? What is this?

If you want to argue for keeping an AfD, do it on the AfD page. Don't accuse people of blindly following essays. 海盐沙冰 _{/ aka irisChronomia / Talk} 04:36, 15 May 2026 (UTC)

@IrisChronomia Please do not POV-PUSH and use passive-aggresive text. on Wikipedia, editors are excepted to treat each other with respect and civility, which you did not do on this user talk page. ~2026-29308-25 (talk) 05:23, 15 May 2026 (UTC)

Welp. 海盐沙冰 _{/ aka irisChronomia / Talk} 05:30, 15 May 2026 (UTC)

Turns out they're a sock (shocker): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Sockpuppet_investigations/~2026-20359-17 ~2026-29984-80 (talk) 09:49, 19 May 2026 (UTC)

File:PhineasGage LifeMask.jpg listed for discussion

A file that you uploaded or altered, File:PhineasGage LifeMask.jpg, has been listed at Wikipedia:Files for discussion. Please see the discussion to see why it has been listed (you may have to search for the title of the image to find its entry). Feel free to add your opinion on the matter below the nomination. Thank you. Based5290 :3 (talk) 08:06, 6 June 2026 (UTC)

Re: AI overviews

Our friend refers to User:EEng#How's_that_again?

There's a general consensus that AI overviews are worthless and degrade the Google search experience in the tradition of enshittification. The level of consumer outrage about this is rising every week now. Just today, I was surprised to find software engineers on Hacker News discussions waking up and calling Y Combinator out for degrading computing services for everyone. I've been following that site for a decade and I have never seen this level of pushback before. Of course, many of the people who speak out about this kind of thing on HN either get their comments deleted (by the mod who I won't name) or blocked. That's how they roll. Viriditas (talk) 01:04, 15 June 2026 (UTC)

Viriditas, You attack the body. You have heard the word and disobeyed. You will be absorbed. EEng 14:15, 15 June 2026 (UTC)

I just learned my nerd cred is intact. I knew that was Star Trek before I clicked. Viriditas (talk) 01:42, 16 June 2026 (UTC)

I knew you would, dude. EEng 03:37, 16 June 2026 (UTC)

Fun fact: our article on The Purge (2013 film) fails to mention that "The Return of the Archons" was the inspiration for James DeMonaco's film. Apparently, he grew up watching the episode with his family. Viriditas (talk) 03:47, 16 June 2026 (UTC)

I'm not sure what kind of cred this gives me, but I enjoyed seeing Sid Haig in that film clip. --Tryptofish (talk) 20:17, 16 June 2026 (UTC)

Yeah, this guy was everywhere in film and television at one point. Any idea what's going on with his necktie in this photo? Here's another angle. Never seen that kind of "knot" before. Viriditas (talk) 23:54, 16 June 2026 (UTC)

No idea, but looks "better" here, from a personal guilty pleasure. --Tryptofish (talk) 23:59, 16 June 2026 (UTC)

It gets stranger! I just discovered that not one, but two Star Trek alums were in Jackie Brown (1997): Denise Crosby (security officer Tasha Yar) and Sid Haig (First Lawgiver). Tarantino is obviously having a bit fun of here, as Haig plays a judge (lawgiver) and Crosby plays a public defender ("security"). Viriditas (talk) 00:56, 17 June 2026 (UTC)

WP:FETA

Given that we already have WP:BRIE (which, by coincidence, I just linked to in another context), I'm beginning to think we need a new – albeit cheesy – redirect category. --Tryptofish (talk) 20:31, 16 June 2026 (UTC)

Oh! I see that you were one step ahead of me. --Tryptofish (talk) 20:32, 16 June 2026 (UTC)

And they say there's so no such thing as telepathy. EEng 20:34, 16 June 2026 (UTC)

I did that on purpose. EEng 21:51, 16 June 2026 (UTC)

A Jewish guy went to a Catholic mass. During communion, he requested the Body of Christ with a schmeer of cream cheese. --Tryptofish (talk) 22:54, 16 June 2026 (UTC)

As punishment for having started this trend, EEng is hereby sentence to having to look at Horseshoe sandwich and at every page in its see also section. --Tryptofish (talk) 19:46, 17 June 2026 (UTC)

Generally order really gracious offers needing zero offense lovingly added. Martinevans123 (talk) 20:03, 17 June 2026 (UTC)

Added another: WP:GREENCHEESE. —David Eppstein (talk) 20:04, 17 June 2026 (UTC)

. (And to think that the English said that the Americans were revolting...) --Tryptofish (talk) 20:16, 17 June 2026 (UTC)

...civility calls! Martinevans123 (talk) 20:25, 17 June 2026 (UTC)

Another editor commenting in the same thread has now referred to Kentucky Fried Dinosaur. Perfect! --Tryptofish (talk) 21:01, 18 June 2026 (UTC)

As for gorgon-zola, , I suggest some nice hot dinosaur noodle soup. You'll feel much better. --Tryptofish (talk) 19:58, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

Hadn't seen. Great minds and all. As for Men in Tights. Jeez, seems like Elon isn't the only one who is handy with that tool. Looking like a co-conspiritor to me. Martinevans123 (talk) 20:15, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

Leave it to the Brits to engage in coppicing. Following on after that oak, and Oliver Tree, Martin really does seem to be out in the woods. --Tryptofish (talk) 20:20, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

Just trying to keep my foot out of the copyvio swamp, thanks. Martinevans123 (talk) 20:26, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

Yes indeed, best not to get swamped. That dinosaur noodle soup really does work wonders. --Tryptofish (talk) 20:30, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

Wonders, schmonders. You sure that's kosher?? Martinevans123 (talk) 22:43, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

I'll be having my girl besties over for a soiree.... Lucy and Sue. Martinevans123 (talk) 20:35, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

Enjoy. Better than flipping the bird, or finding out what the Tyrannosaurus wrecks. (Do serve some cheese.) --Tryptofish (talk) 20:41, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

Forget the fish course (world's smelliest).... we'll go straight to the main attraction: "... washed in beer, creating a pungent, manure-like odor that is so intense it is famously banned from being consumed on public transport in France." Martinevans123 (talk) 20:52, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

(I'll ignore that fish crack.) Be sure to serve some fruit with it. --Tryptofish (talk) 21:02, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

Yeah, some tasty 80s music too! Martinevans123 (talk) 21:17, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

You all will appreciate the glee at which I approach a new thread with bright opportunity for punning mirth???? sheesh. - Walter not a grumpy old man Ego 21:51, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

Yes, especially when we are all Hungry Like the Wolf. --Tryptofish (talk) 21:57, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

Trypto, your cheesy gags just kill me. Martinevans123 (talk) 22:14, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Better than gagging on cheese, I guess. --Tryptofish (talk) 23:44, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

Sorry, but ever since BoJo's Brit Fest my local shop has been fresh out! Martinevans123 (talk) 11:32, 23 June 2026 (UTC)

The Special Barnstar

	The Special Barnstar
	Thanks for making my day with your proposal for Larry Sanger. I love good humor, and I take my hat off to you. Keep up the good work. -- Valjean (talk) (PING me) 19:40, 22 June 2026 (UTC)

• I appreciate the appreciation! However, for the avoidance of doubt (for those playing along at home who may not be fully in tune with the geist of this page), I rush to make clear that my proposal fits squarely in the mold of "Ha, only serious". Yes, I took the opportunity to give Mr. Larry Sanger some (well deserved) ribbing for his intellectual pomposity, his messiah complex, and for just plain being a philosopher in the first place -- my uncle was a phenomenologist, so I know of what I speak there -- but at the same time I was absolutely serious in asserting that the partial block proposed would be the best for all concerned -- for Wikipedia, for its editors, and for Sanger himself. EEng 20:29, 22 June 2026 (UTC)

  I knew it. EEng has an uncle who was a phrenologist. --Tryptofish (talk) 20:32, 22 June 2026 (UTC)

  I had an uncle who was a poltergeist. Does that count?? Martinevans123 (talk) 20:53, 22 June 2026 (UTC)

  Not a ghost of a chance. --Tryptofish (talk) 22:49, 22 June 2026 (UTC)

  And I had an uncle who was Bob (By the way, our page on it says that it roughly means "and there it is". I always thought that it was more like an insult?) --Tryptofish (talk) 23:01, 22 June 2026 (UTC) I've looked online, and it appears that if I were to go to Britain, I wouldn't be very good at insulting anyone. --Tryptofish (talk) 23:06, 22 June 2026 (UTC) And by wild coincidence, this just now popped up on my watchlist: Robert is your mum's brother. --Tryptofish (talk) 23:10, 22 June 2026 (UTC)

I decided to print out that literal thesis of an AN/I page, and my gosh, it took my supposedly speedy Brother printer a good 7 minutes to spit out all 98 A4 pages worth of that thread. No wonder why it got put into its own subpage. — AP 499D25 (talk) 08:36, 25 June 2026 (UTC)

More cheesy shortcuts

• Wikipedia:JARLSBERG = Wikipedia:Jousting against radicals, Larry Sanger broke editing rules grievously
• Wikipedia:LEICESTER = Wikipedia:Larry externally instigates; concerned editors swiftly terminate ex-founder's rights
• Wikipedia:SWISSCHEESE = Wikipedia:Sanger, wanting inhibiting standards scrapped, chases headlines: "Entrenched editors stifle enlightenment!"
• Wikipedia:COLBY = Wikipedia:Canvassing off site, Larry bounced yonder

See also: Category:Wikipedia_cheese-inspired_shortcuts or Category:Wikipedia cheese-inspired redirects and shortcuts. EEng 03:53, 23 June 2026 (UTC)

The cat’s eaten it.—Odysseus1479 22:43, 26 June 2026 (UTC)

More cheese for the pantry:

• RICOTTA = Really Inconsiderate Co-founder's Online Tenure Terminated Absolutely
• MANCHEGO = Many Agree Nefarious Canvassing Hurts Encyclopedia; Gatherer Ostracized
• WENSLEYDALE = Wikipedia Expels Noncompliant Sanger; Larry's Extended Yapping Doesn't Ameliorate "Liberal" Encyclopedia
• RACLETTE = Renounced After Canvassing, Larry Earns Thoroughly Telegraphed Expulsion

In solidarity, Autoinvective (🗨︎ 𓅬) 08:35, 23 June 2026 (UTC)

Excellent! I'm especially impressed by WENSLEYDALE -- I tried it myself, and struggled with the Y for ages, but couldn't get past it even with a long hot bath. Brilliant! EEng 11:20, 23 June 2026 (UTC) P.S. Admittedly, RACLETTE might be stretching it a bit.

Yeah, I had a bit of a block trying to figure out RACLETTE, and felt like I had to scrape away at it when the solution didn't flow naturally, like it did for RICOTTA. In solidarity, Autoinvective (🗨︎ 𓅬) 21:51, 23 June 2026 (UTC)

Nominated several redirects you've created under G10

As you may have seen in your notifications (sorry, it was an auto-ticked box), I've nominated several of your recent redirects under WP:G10. Even blocked editors get BLP protection, which you can see in the similar Wikipedia:Redirects for discussion/Log/2026 June 21#1782072287. Ed ^{[talk] [OMT]} 04:28, 23 June 2026 (UTC)

• Please explain. How, for example, is "Larry externally instigates; concerned editors swiftly terminate ex-founder's rights", anything but a straightforward statement of what the community decided Sanger had done, and how it then responded? How does it meet G10's requirement that a page "disparage, threaten, intimidate, or harass" someone? And even if it does (which it doesn't), in order to qualify for G10 it must also "serve no other purpose" -- giving editors a convenient and memorable way to link to this important discussion is certainly a valid purpose. Plus, perhaps even Mr. Sanger would get a chuckle out of it, which might help melt his flinty heart.

Also, your edit summary in removing these shortcuts from the target page was, "No one is using these shortcuts you've just created" . I needn't belabor how nonsensical that is when applied to shortcuts created just 40 minutes earlier.

I'm serious about this. If anything, you should have submitted these to RFD -- see WP:Redirects for discussion/Log/2019 July 7#Wikipedia:CANSANFRANBANFRAM for a discussion of the parallel case of a shortcut nominated for deletion as "unneeded humor", and which went in quite a different direction: it was closed as Speedy keep after the nominator realized the error of his ways. Humor is very much needed in these situations. Answer, please (and you too, Mfield). EEng 11:20, 23 June 2026 (UTC)

You finding something amusing doesn't make it any less of an attack, one person's humor is often part of an attack. It's also WP:GRAVEDANCING. The subject is not only going to not get a chuckle out of it, given their behavior in the last few days and their propensity for playing the victim. They were much more likely to complain about it on X, and still may if they find out, and unleash a bunch of people intent on doxxing the person that created them and anyone else tangentially involved. I think it was very lucky these just got quietly deleted and didn't become the subject of another whole AN/I thread, but if you would like the wider community's opinion on that you are welcome to open a thread and ask? Mfield (Oi!) 16:41, 23 June 2026 (UTC)

+1 to everything Mfield said. I'd add that "shortcuts are created for the convenience of editors," not for gravedancing, and I don't see G10's applicability to the spelled-out shortcuts as ambiguous. Please feel free to take your concerns to ANI and/or bring your particular sense of humor to other pages. Ed ^{[talk] [OMT]} 17:01, 23 June 2026 (UTC)

I thought these redirects were both funny and ill-advised. Having been the online target (twice) of right-wing trolls over the past decade, it's a prospect I would discourage anyone, even those with thick skins, to avoid inviting upon themselves. Being the subject of attacks can be relentless and would interfere with your enjoyment of life.

If you prefer Wikipedia-speak, Wikipedia:Don't poke the bear. Liz ^{Read! Talk!} 19:16, 23 June 2026 (UTC)

I didn't even know about the ANI discussion that had been going on, I just saw the redirects tagged as attack pages and came here to see the explanation for them. I don't think I'm up for reviewing the entire ANI conversation but might skim it. The bottom line is that Sanger has found himself blocked for off-Wikipedia behavior, right? One misses out on a lot of news when one avoids checking in on noticeboards regularly and that's not always a bad thing. Liz ^{Read! Talk!} 19:30, 23 June 2026 (UTC)

Back when it was part of the birds vs. dinosaurs thing, I'll admit that I found it funny, too. But the joke has worn thin, and I end up agreeing that it becomes a problem when the joke gets directed at an individual, no matter that individual's peculiarities or misdeeds. I just commented in favor of deleting the category at CfD, and I've gotta say, EEng, it's time for you to cut the cheese. (Now, that is something I still find funny. --Tryptofish (talk) 22:31, 23 June 2026 (UTC)

WP:FETA and WP:GORGONZOLA don't lead to the discussion about CBANning Larry Sanger; @EEng, if you like making cheese-themed redirects/shortcuts, maybe try making more that don't lead to controversies/controversial pages, then, the odds any of them get speedily deleted should fall dramatically.

Remember: If you run out of ideas, see List of cheeses, which seems to have well over 200 entries. - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 22:16, 24 June 2026 (UTC)

New limits on images per user page

Does your user page have over 1250 images? If not, why not? See for why this might be relevant and why some German vexillologist might have you beat. (Incidentally, your partial list of public toilets in Bratislava has a broken image, but not caused by this issue.) —David Eppstein (talk) 22:37, 8 July 2026 (UTC)

I read the phab (definitely not fab) discussion, and it sure looks like WP:NOTPAPER gets burnt any time it becomes inconvenient for WMF coders. I'm pleased to see some sane voices there, telling them to hold off until stuff gets fixed. I also see that this is already breaking some mainspace pages here at enwiki, so this isn't a userspace-only problem. (No comment from me as to where the Bratislavs might go for relief.) --Tryptofish (talk) 23:25, 8 July 2026 (UTC)

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Articles for Creation backlog drive

Hello EEng:

WikiProject Articles for creation is holding a month long Backlog Drive in August!
The goal of this drive is to reduce the backlog of unreviewed drafts to less than a month of outstanding reviews from the current 3+ months. Bonus points will be given for reviewing drafts that have been waiting more than 30 days. The drive is running from 1 August 2026 through 31 August 2026.

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Barnstars will be given out as awards at the end of the drive.
There is a backlog of over 5000 pages, so start reviewing drafts. We're looking forward to your help! MediaWiki message delivery (talk) 00:37, 19 July 2026 (UTC)

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